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Ponderings on My Carpet This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This work has won the Teen Ink contest in its category.

By
I settle back with a dull thump
Onto the carpet that should’ve been swept last week.
Oh well.
I had better things to do.
Besides
When I am gone this is how I will be remembered, I think:
The little bits of everything strewn across the floor.
Only a bit of dirt or a ragged thread left for someone else to stumble over,
But to some sentimental soul, it could mean that time we went to the creek
And laughed all night, the only souvenir the mud on our shoes.
Or the day I noticed my favorite jeans were frayed at the cuffs
And left them that way, only to have that ragged thread fall,
Marking something, some small moment of my life
Pressed into the carpet for all to see.
So there it is,
My little carpet collage –
Bits of this and that,
Bits of memories,
Bits of my life –
Taking refuge in the protective crevices of my carpet.
How could I destroy this with one sweep of a vacuum?
…You’re not buying it?
All right, I’ll sweep the floor.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

This work has won the Teen Ink contest in its category. This piece won the September 2008 Teen Ink Poetry Contest.




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ItsJustV said...
Nov. 6, 2012 at 7:28 am
The beginning was a bit slow, but as the piece progressed, I was enveloped in the simple way you mused. Interesting and different. Well done.
 
OldYoungOne replied...
Nov. 6, 2012 at 10:20 pm
I like the poem as well.... it seems you know what youre talkn about could you read my work and give me somepointers?
 
theshadowofanobody This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 23, 2012 at 2:39 pm
Beautiful. Breathtakingly beautiful.  
 
wishingtheskywasbluerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 27, 2012 at 12:53 am
i really love this! in the beginning, i was totally prepared for this deep, heart to heart poem, and i smiled when i got to the end:)
 
Rebel13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 5, 2012 at 9:28 pm
I really like this, it shows a lot of pensiveness and thought. If you spent just a little more time picking the right words and working on the rhythm, it would be even better.
 
incognito411 replied...
Nov. 6, 2012 at 6:55 pm
i completely agree! it pulled me in by the title and i was glad it was a poem, it was well-written but if u spend a little more time on the cadence and slow the shown thought-process, it will be a lot deeper and the words will make the meaning and the reminiscing much stronger.
 
sweetangel4life said...
May 31, 2012 at 5:12 pm
well written i really like it ill look at more of ur work... its me from "my poem you read" (a.k.a.) looking at the real world. p.s. u should read my book, approximately 20 or so pages on microsoft, falling in love... i love ur work keep writing!
 
Goldy97This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 14, 2012 at 9:02 am
I really like this one as well and it also has alot of meaning to it and behind it.
 
Indilove said...
May 14, 2012 at 8:22 am
This is great!!! I love how you ended it, giving in and deciding to sweep the floor it makes the readers go NO! DON'T SWEEP THE FLOOR!!!! hahahaha anyway I love how much I and others can relate to this!! This will be my new excuse to not vacuum hahahaha ;)
 
KnitsandPurls replied...
Sept. 1, 2012 at 8:21 am
I know. I never knew I would get so wrapped up in a person's choice to sweep the floor!
 
Mimi15 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 22, 2012 at 11:52 am
Check out my poem "puddle-wonderful" :)
 
Kiyoko This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 7, 2012 at 10:41 am
This is very nice, and the humorous twist at the end was a very nice touch. My only suggestion is to perhaps get more examples of the things that you could be leaving behind, and give them very vividly. well done!
 
Tornado M. said...
Mar. 9, 2012 at 10:31 pm
I wasn't too impressed at the beginning, but when I really got it, I smiled. It was nice. :)
 
Dreamer13 said...
Feb. 16, 2012 at 3:53 pm
Hilarious ending! i love it :) could someone check out some of my work, please?
 
laurenhoff96 said...
Jan. 3, 2012 at 7:37 pm
I loved the ending :) It was actually so funny! Keep writing because you're amazing at it!
 
beautifulspiritThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 29, 2011 at 7:03 pm
I like it---it's like if all we are can be summed up with what's on our floor. The poem is funny too at the end---are you really too lazy to sweep the floor? Lol
 
Ella1 said...
Nov. 20, 2011 at 8:48 am
Nice perspective, I like your take on it!
 
Alexandrathepoet This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 10, 2011 at 7:40 pm

This reminds me of a poem I read in a childrens book of poetry in second grade, i think it was shel silverstein, about how his room held all his artifacts, and it was his museum.

 

 
ThePeaceDaisy said...
Oct. 29, 2011 at 3:25 pm
Lol funny! :D I'm gonna try that!
 
Lexie96 said...
Oct. 23, 2011 at 3:21 pm
Loved it! :) sounds like my carpet. Think that you could check out some of my work? Anybody? Please?
 
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