You can not put a title on this | Teen Ink

You can not put a title on this

August 13, 2008
By Amanda Gentry, San Antonio, TX

I saw you drowning in a sea of evil.
Your first and last breath was a blur of life.
The moment I found out I lightning bolt paralyzed my heart.
The reality of it is bitter and full of what-if.
I’m not daddy’s little girl any more, this is forcing me to grow up.
You were supposed to walk me down the isle to the man of my future
Instead you took the isle to heaven to the man of your future.
With every blink I have a vision of your smiling face.
Each time the wind blows I hear your goofy laugh, and smile with sadness.
The thought of tomorrow and every following day without you numbs me.
My absent hope is now temptation, to go after you.
The blunt realistic truth is that there is no answer for this problem.
Staring at your picture puts me in awe with astonishment.
Life in general will never be better, as good, or the same.
You gave off an ora that seemed so incredibly alive and amazing.
How do you expect me to survive without ever seeing you again?
All my life I came to you when I was overwhelmed to the max.
You always knew just the right thing to say to keep me going.
There is so much of you in me that being me is excruciating.
You were always my big strong daddy, my protector.
You were the toughest person I knew.
Still your heart was bigger than anyone I know now.
You gave so much in such a different way.
I can close my eves and picture us five years ago sitting on grandma’s wooden swing.
Sun was just right, and with the perfect breeze, just talking.
You spoiled me rotten, even when you knew you couldn’t afford it.
Not just with material, but with every ounce of love in your soul.
Despite your sins you are my father; I can not help but forgive and love you.
Dwelling on all the wrong choices is a waist of time when I can be appreciating all the great aspects of your life.
You are my guardian angel now.
I know that you will help me through everything just as if you were still here.

The author's comments:
My father died because he was doing bad drugs, he wasn't always like that though. He was my dad once and that's what this poem is about. The love a young girl has for her dad.

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