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As I sit here,
right on top,
and the stars,
and me,
and visualize,
my moonlit dreams,
I know, you are listening to me.

I know, you’re listening, so fair enough, I say
as the stars jingle upon my soul,
and the sound of the wind lingers a while,
don’t leave me empty, lend me your smile!

and god! my feet, heavy of walking,
day and night,
and oh, this fright,
i may just envy the birds;
in skies … winters and springs,
so don’t leave me empty, lend me your wings!

the moon I see rising high,
overthroning the stars, new queen of the sky,
but doesn’t, ’cause,
deep there,
fireworks to start,
so don’t leave me like this, lend me your heart!

as you’re still listening,
one more, my wish
if much, my dreams, then do unleash
the joys of life, dug deep inside,
show them, my you, and shine a light
for long the journey, battles to fight,
a sprinkle of pity,
don’t leave me empty,
make me alive!

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 14 at 10:28 pm
This poem captures the reader's attention immediately. You call them with an earnest zeal that is impossible to ignore. Imagery was spot on as well. I felt as thought your heart was the speaker, as cliche as that may sound. There's a want to be free like the birds. A need to feel fulfilled by someone else, instead by our own self. A pining to be recognized if not by one other person in this world. And an anxiety to be alive. Well done, my contemporary.
 
Ray--yoThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
today at 8:45 pm
Thank you very much for the kind words, McKay. It really means a lot.
 
felxvoidwlkrThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 10, 2014 at 10:58 am
very good 
 
WOWritingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 4, 2014 at 11:04 am
Beautiful :) sort of reminds me of shakespeare's writing. I never fully understand it, but I can get the essence of it and that's enough to wow me. whenever I read your stuff, I get all adulty. I don't know how you write like that :)
 
Ray--yoThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 5, 2014 at 3:18 am
All adulty? I hope that's a good thing. And thanks :)
 
WOWritingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 5, 2014 at 10:55 am
it is a good thing :)
 
AGDDavy This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 12, 2014 at 9:20 am
This poem is so straightforward!
 
Ray--yoThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 14, 2014 at 8:02 am
I'm glad you think so. Thanks.
 
SaphiraBrightscalesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 22, 2014 at 2:05 pm
Okay so let me first gathered my thoughts here before saying anything because they have been completely blown away. Ahem. Okay. This poem firstly is like none I've ever read. Maybe I haven't read all there are to read and yet I feel I'm not going to read one like it in all the time I do read either, if that makes any sense. It had a certain vivid-ness to it. Beautiful imagery. I simply cannot explain how breath-taking the fact that you found so many creative things to put together on... (more »)
 
Ray--yoThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 26, 2014 at 7:44 am
Your comment just made my life :)
 
SaphiraBrightscalesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 26, 2014 at 1:35 pm
I meant what I said and I said what I meant ^_^
 
TheSkyOwesMeRainThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 26, 2014 at 12:21 pm
Wow! I really like the spirit and energy of this poem, especially the ending line "make me alive"! Your rhyming is also very refreshing; it doesn't sound forced, and it's really pleasing to the ear when read aloud :) Not many people can do that. Thanks, by the way, for commenting on one of my poems, I really appreciate it! 
 
IlovemeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 16, 2014 at 10:36 am
I love this. So lyrical :)
 
SabbyCat said...
Jan. 10, 2014 at 11:41 am
I like it! 
 
Ray--yoThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 15, 2014 at 3:28 am
That's the second time someone gave this poem the same compliment XD thanks!  
 
compassion said...
Jan. 10, 2014 at 10:57 am
Paints the picture beauifully!
 
compassion replied...
Jan. 10, 2014 at 10:58 am
Beautifully*
 
Ray--yoThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 15, 2014 at 3:25 am
Thanks a lot!
 
Chaitali said...
Jan. 7, 2014 at 11:03 am
Absolutely wonderful.. Make sure to read and comment on mine TeenInk.com/opinion/social_issues_civics/article/606294/Success-gains-us-useless-Trophies/
 
Ray--yoThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 10, 2014 at 10:50 am
Thanks, sure!
 
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