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All Those Daisies

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Daisies torn from the ground.
He loves me, he loves me not.
Petals ripped from their stem.
He loves me, he loves me not.
Daisies captured by the dozen.
I love him, I love him not.
Petals plucked off silently, quickly.
I love him, I love him not.
Fields of daisies gone.
He loves me, he loves me not.
Petals in heaps.
He loves me, he loves me not.
Not a daisy in sight.
I love him, I love him not.
Petals drifting in the breeze.
I love him, I love him not.
Everything is gone.
He loves me, he loves me not.
Except my love for him,
The only daisy left in an empty field.
He loves me, he loves me
Not.



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NeVassa said...
Sept. 22, 2012 at 11:49 pm
This was great! :)
 
garshongjasmine said...
Sept. 10, 2012 at 2:32 pm
i really love the repetion, and the picture was awesome.
 
so_joy replied...
Sept. 10, 2012 at 5:28 pm
Thank you!
 
MarieAntoinette2012This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 6, 2012 at 10:09 am
This is really creative. I like it and good job!!!
 
so_joy replied...
Sept. 6, 2012 at 3:54 pm
Thank you!!
 
MarieAntoinette2012This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 6, 2012 at 10:09 am
This is really creative. I like it and good job!!!
 
amber603This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 29, 2012 at 10:14 pm
I enjoy the back and forth of the poem. Every creative. Keep it on, girl!
 
so_joy replied...
Aug. 30, 2012 at 5:53 pm
Thank you!
 
Aderes47 said...
Aug. 28, 2012 at 10:59 pm
Story of my life! Fell in love with my best friend(still am) and when he told me he didn't like me, well..I did the same thing, now I feel a little guilty! Great poem! :) Keep thhem coming!
 
so_joy replied...
Aug. 30, 2012 at 5:52 pm
Thank you!
 
so_joy said...
Aug. 18, 2012 at 7:56 pm
Thank you!
 
IMAdreamerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 18, 2012 at 10:34 am
Oh my, that is a bit sad I think. It is very beautiful though nice work.
 
writer3499 said...
Aug. 15, 2012 at 2:02 am
wow. I loved the repetition!  i also loved the ending becasue you finfished with "he loves me Not" It's reallly sad but its reallly powerful! I don't think there is anything about this poem that I don't like!!
 
so_joy replied...
Aug. 15, 2012 at 6:04 pm
Thank you!!
 
shaylapurple16 said...
Aug. 12, 2012 at 10:37 pm
Wow, I loved this poem so much. I loved how it told a story and was still rhythmic and everything. It was great!  
 
so_joy replied...
Aug. 13, 2012 at 7:20 am
Thank you!!
 
KylieKThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 8, 2012 at 5:58 pm
Nice! I love the concept, and how you took breaks from the imagery to fill them with your hook phrase.   I'm giving this a five stars, for creativity, and it was well organized.   If I will, I have ideas of slight critique that may improve the readers experience. I'm unsure on whether you want me to tell you my advice, though. (Some people have, in the past, boldly asked me for critique, and when I gave it even kindly they weren't very happy. You haven'... (more »)
 
KylieKThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 8, 2012 at 6:01 pm
(P.S. The large breaks in between my sentences were intended places of indention. On my specific computer program, it isn't showing the indentions. I'm not sure if it's like this on your computer, I was just letting you know.)   Sorry for leaving such a trail of words!   Kylie
 
so_joy replied...
Aug. 8, 2012 at 7:11 pm
Thank you! I would love to hear your critiques, because I want to make this poem the best it can be.
 
KylieKThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 9, 2012 at 9:52 am
Poetry is not just about expressing your emotions, but it’s also about telling a story and painting imagery. You started out at the very beginning, saying, “he loves me, he loves me not.” But, then, you switched back and forth quite a few times, going from the girl’s inner emotions, to the boy’s inner emotions. It was a little confusing. Since you noted that at the end, the reader finds that the boy doesn’t genuinely love the girl, you should sort through... (more »)
 
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