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All Those Daisies

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Daisies torn from the ground.
He loves me, he loves me not.
Petals ripped from their stem.
He loves me, he loves me not.
Daisies captured by the dozen.
I love him, I love him not.
Petals plucked off silently, quickly.
I love him, I love him not.
Fields of daisies gone.
He loves me, he loves me not.
Petals in heaps.
He loves me, he loves me not.
Not a daisy in sight.
I love him, I love him not.
Petals drifting in the breeze.
I love him, I love him not.
Everything is gone.
He loves me, he loves me not.
Except my love for him,
The only daisy left in an empty field.
He loves me, he loves me
Not.



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ChobaniLuvinPenguinThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 27, 2012 at 9:06 pm:
So beautiful and so creative! It is easy to understand in context, and the deeper meaning behind it really makes you think. You make it seem like there is a somewhat violent side in the plucking of the daisies, and create a character with the desperate voice of your narrator, which is very unique. I love it!!! Truly amazing.
 
so_joyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 28, 2012 at 12:49 pm :
Thank you so much!
 
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LihuaEmilyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 21, 2012 at 6:37 pm:
Raw and sad. I hate when this kind of thing happens. Ha ha, seriously. But this was great. Keep going.
 
so_joyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Oct. 23, 2012 at 6:37 pm :
Thank you! Mind checking out my poem, Sitting Alone? It would mean a lot.
 
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samlynn said...
Oct. 10, 2012 at 11:55 am:
You are very good at writing poetry, very creative!!!
 
so_joyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Oct. 10, 2012 at 7:04 pm :
Thank you so much!!
 
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GraphicWriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 7, 2012 at 6:51 pm:
It's a good poem with an awesome story behind it.. Maybe making different stanzas to show the breaks inbetween? But other than that, it's simply wonderful. :)
 
so_joyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Oct. 10, 2012 at 7:03 pm :
Thank you! Good idea, I'll try it. Mind checking out my other work?:)
 
GraphicWriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 11, 2012 at 8:31 am :
I'd love to. In return, could you check out mine? I'd greatly appreciate it. :)
 
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wishingtheskywasbluer This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 1, 2012 at 1:52 pm:
this is great:)
 
so_joyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:16 am :
Thank you!
 
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irishlass317This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 28, 2012 at 10:29 pm:
This is really good!! The only constructive criticisim I have is that you might make the sayings between the "he loves me.." statements longer, so that the reader can understand the backstory better. Great job!!! :) 
 
so_joyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sept. 29, 2012 at 9:47 pm :
Thank you!
 
so_joyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sept. 29, 2012 at 10:46 pm :
Mind checking out my other poems Sitting Alone and Fishbowl?:)
 
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satellite23 said...
Sept. 28, 2012 at 10:18 pm:
Wow! I think this might be the best thing you've submitted to the site so far. I liked the idea, and how your switch between sentences so often. Also, I really liked the line break at the end, it adds a bit of humor and drama to the piece. Nicely done!
 
so_joyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sept. 29, 2012 at 10:46 pm :
Thank you SO much! Mind checking out my other poems Sitting Alone and Fishbowl?:)
 
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ZingaraThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 28, 2012 at 7:58 pm:
I actually really enjoyed this! Usually I find the repetive poems a bit bland, but this was interesting and creative! :)
 
so_joyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sept. 29, 2012 at 10:47 pm :
Thank you! Mind checking out my other poems Sitting Alone and Fishbowl?:)
 
SonjaRenaeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Oct. 1, 2012 at 12:41 pm :
Sure, I'll take a look :)
 
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Ruby-Paige-Rose said...
Sept. 25, 2012 at 1:46 pm:
I like a not love poem every once in a while. Great work!
 
so_joyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sept. 28, 2012 at 6:35 am :
Thank you!
 
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