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Casualty

I've been damaged
Maybe even beyond repair
Blood soaked through the bandage
No one ever said that life was fair

'Cause it's a battle
And now I'm left with no recourse
Thrown off the saddle
Apparently have no remorse

The clock now ticking
Victims line up
Ripe for the picking
It's sickening

But what can I say
The casualties rise
Each and every day
So lets be wise, avoid demise

So then I think
Why can't we have peace?
And I click my heels three times and blink
Suddenly all the violence has ceased

At least for now
And as I look around, spellbound
I say wow
For it's a perfect world that I've found



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This article has 5 comments. Post your own!

laurengerhard This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 7, 2013 at 1:51 pm:
These look and sound like song lyrics, so I'm assuming that's what they were supposed to be. Either way, beautiful writing! Xo
 
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StrangeJade This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 27, 2012 at 8:35 pm:
The rhyming here borders on being a little too singsongy, but you always manage to bring it back down to earth somehow. :) Remember not to force the rhymes, though. Good job!
 
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StrangeJade This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 27, 2012 at 8:35 pm:
The rhyming here borders on being a little too singsongy, but you always manage to bring it back down to earth somehow. :) Remember not to force the rhymes, though. Good job!
 
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Eirias said...
Jul. 26, 2012 at 5:52 am:

Well, the first thing I say to everyone that does this: Please use punctuation! It is incredibly off-turning when there is no punctuation. Reading poetry without punctuaton is no different that reading prose without punctuation All the lines tend to blend together You can figure it out where the periods and commas should be but it still stops the reader for a second If I'm just browsing poetry on TeenInk when I'm bored, I'll usually just stop when I see that the writer just skipped puncutatio... (more »)

 
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Black_Rose_Princess said...
Jul. 26, 2012 at 5:09 am:

Another wonderfully written poem! I must say really good, especially since this is a topic that I also feel deeply about. 

I really liked everything you had to say, but one thing stuck out to me: the last two stanzas. You built up the poem perfectly up to then and a part of me feels that you can end the poem without the last two stanzas because the last line of the previous stanza seems to say it all in a simple and concise manner: so let's be wise and avoid demise (I would sugges... (more »)

 
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