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Worn Out

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Exhaustion takes over,
leaving my body defenseless,
leaving my mind empty,
leaving my soul desert dry
and my fragile heart worn out.




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This article has 10 comments. Post your own!

guardianofthestarsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 25, 2013 at 8:49 pm:
Very nice and fresh! To me it takes true talent to write powerful short poetry like this. ^_^
 
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thatunknownthingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 10, 2013 at 6:30 am:
this is a nice poem and cleanly written, but I feel that it was too sraight forward and could have used more figures of speech and symbolism for I couldn't understand any deeper than these sentences (if you implied another meaning). But the tanka is clear, and that's good work. Do you mind reading, and frankly commenting on some of my work, too? Thanks!
 
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remember16 said...
Nov. 12, 2012 at 8:02 am:
awesome work i love it!, short and simple you should cheak out some of my poetry rrate/comment<3(:
 
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. said...
Oct. 20, 2012 at 10:26 am:
I like this! Structured poems can often be a little dull, but you did a great job making the most of the format! Nice job! :)
 
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Brace4impact said...
Jul. 8, 2012 at 6:37 am:
I ThInk this is a good tanka poem. I haven't recently read why that I liked until now. I know exactly how it is to feel just worn out. Great tanka. Question, what's your favorite type of poem to write
 
Josika.Nav replied...
Jul. 8, 2012 at 6:56 am :
free verse :D i like the the whole concept of 'no rules and restrictions'... but i try and expand my range by trying out different types of poems. :) why?
 
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andromeda13 said...
Jun. 18, 2012 at 7:20 am:
I thought maybe it could have been a bit longer, but the poem is really strong and i think the phrase short but sweet would go well here. 
 
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InkWriter13 said...
Jun. 6, 2012 at 12:56 pm:
I like how you build it up using repetition and the progression of body then mind then soul then heart. It incorporates all the central parts of a human being. I think a lot of teens can relate to this poem--I certainly can. Often it is hard to find the energy. Overall, great work. :D
 
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JoPepperThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 4, 2012 at 5:23 pm:
I've never heard of a tanka.  Very good job Keep writing
 
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Pitiful_Anonymous said...
Jun. 1, 2012 at 9:34 am:
Although I'm not really one to enjoy poems with specific structures like this, I actually really do like this. It's a really good poem, you have talent. :)
 
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