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What Matters Most

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I know that things can’t be clearer than this.
Everybody’s telling me that I’m being blind
But I can’t get my mind off of our first kiss.
I don’t mean to be mean but who are you now?
You’re changing before my eyes and I can’t think how
You asked me for a break but I never asked you to slow down.
This is crazy to be misunderstood like I am for some reason.
You keep playing this game but it’s not fair, it’s not easy.
I try to catch up but I can’t breathe, I keep wheezing.
Why do you have to run away from me so much?
I always thought you wanted to be loved and such,
But you’re fleeting from my life like there’s some rush.
I wanted to tell you how I felt the very first day,
But I was afraid and no one had made me feel that way.
I want you to know that I am still wishing for that someday.

You’re running through my mind, you never take a break.
How do you run so strong, but you’re still so weak?
I want that love and not that girl who cried so much, it ached.
I’m out here searching for forever and wishing for you.
One thing I always did think of when I thought of you,
Was how much you changed into something that was never you.
I wanted to believe that you would always be the same,
That you would never grow up, that you’d never change.
But that never happens without a little bit of pain.
Hoping is something that goes parallel to sadness.
It brings the same feeling that brings back this.
I hope you know I’ll never forget that one kiss,
The smile on your face when I hugged you for the first time,
That laugh of yours that brought joy into my empty life,
The dreams that we shared that created my thrive.
I will never forget that night you stayed up with me while I cried,
When you kissed my forehead and looked into my eyes,
And told me how I’m perfect being me, being wild.
I’ll never forget you leaving me that last night.
How you still looked the way you had always to me, so bright.
How you made me wait to say goodbye.
How I never got to try.
How I wanted to scream and throw everything away.
That one night I said I couldn’t care less about fate.
The day I lost every chance I had to say what I wanted to say.
I always meant what I said.
Did you forget everything we had?
Do you think we could ever have that back?
I do think you told me lies,
But I don’t care because I’ve done cried
From every day you left to tonight.
I said forever you and me.
You said always, I wanted to believe.
But it started as fast as you decided to leave.
Why do you have to run away from me so much?
I always thought you wanted to be loved and such,
But you’re fleeting from my life like there’s some rush.
I wanted to tell you how I felt the very first day,
But I was afraid and no one had made me feel that way.
I want you to know that I am still wishing for you and that someday.

I want to be with that little boy again.
But he changed his mind and sought pain.
This is my last thought to you going insane.
I want you to know how much I love the little boy from our past.
How he smiles, and every time I tried to hold his hand, he laughed.
How he made me feel so wanted, now his head is in the clouds instead.
I want to believe that little boy is somewhere deep down inside.
But no one can prove that he is still alive and not dead.
No one can bring him back to reality, back to life.
When someone changes, they make it all a fight.
You can’t make them want to stay,
No matter how much they would want to stay.
And no one can stop them; no one can get in their way.
I want to be your everything, your air.
But what wanted me just isn’t there.
And it never really hurt until you said “I don’t care”.





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