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Over the Hills

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Show me how,
through way of love,
to get past my selfish pride.

Over the hills I sadly ride
to fill my gaping heart.

Afar you are,
my beautiful love,
until I must arrive.

Over the hills I sadly ride
to fill my gaping heart.

Rest alone
without a love
while I wither away and die.

Over the hills I sadly ride
to fill my gaping heart.

Another day,
still no love
from the rose of my eye.

Over the hills I sadly ride
to fill my gaping heart.

How can I live
holding a love
in which you can’t confide?

Over the hills I sadly ride
to fill my gaping heart.




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This article has 8 comments. Post your own!

applesauceHater said...
Dec. 19, 2012 at 9:22 pm:
Oh im sorry!!quite a long ways a ways, you replied to a poem of mine, and asked for reviews of your stuff in return. at the time, i stopped going on teenink, dont know why but i did! Soo anywhoo, this was a very wondreful poem! its so sad but a wonderful poem indeed!
 
satellite23 replied...
Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:09 pm :
Haha applesauce,   I don't even keep track of who I've commented on really....don't feel bad LOL. Thansk for commenting!
 
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LoudDreamerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 31, 2012 at 8:58 pm:
Very good, very moving! The words fit together well, the rythem is smooth, it makes sense, it has the ability to draw the reader in emotionally.  Great! 5/5! I'll check more of your work later, can you look at mine?
 
satellite23 replied...
Jun. 2, 2012 at 5:29 pm :
Sure. Thanks for commenting.
 
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DanielM. said...
May 11, 2012 at 6:57 pm:
That was an awesome poem. I liked how you used imagery in the beginning
 
satellite23 replied...
May 12, 2012 at 7:56 am :
thanks DanielM
 
Josika.Nav replied...
May 22, 2012 at 6:12 am :
me too. the imagery iin the beginning was very good . i like the way the poem was split and the repetetion of the last two lines. also, the way you moved along from one thought to the other really helped the fluidity of the poem. great work and keep writing :D
 
satellite23 replied...
May 25, 2012 at 12:06 pm :
thanks for commenting
 
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