Nothing Changes

March 27, 2012
Dear Loved Ones;

Nothing ever changes, for I learned that the hard way in that late December morning…I lost some people who I loved very much, friends, classmates, sister and brother…but most importantly, I lost part of myself that day…

I learned the hard way of what happened, and I wished it was only a dream, a nightmare that I was in, but I soon learned that it wasn’t and wished that it wasn’t them, or anyone for that matter…but nothing changes

I kind of hoped at least three would return…but we lost another that next day…will this torment end? Will I ever see them again? Should I just leave now and let people learn that it doesn’t matter who you lose? Can I turn my back on everything and just be sad and alone forever? Some day I will learn the difference between life and death, but not today…

Now most people who lose someone they truly care about will be stuck in that time until they can heal, but not me…I was stuck in that time the minute it happened…one of these days I will learn the difference between living and dead, but that day is not today, but I will soon let myself be overwhelmed by this world that I will fall into the nothingness that is my own heart…

Who will save me? Who will remember me? Who will cry for me? Everyone? Some people? Or no one? That is your choice and your choice alone…

My happiness is only a mask I wear, so don’t think that I am okay…don’t ask me if I am alright, for I will lie and say yes, even though I am dying inside…

Nothing changes…I learned that the hard way





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