A Ball Room

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A chandelier hangs above the dancers.
Light is reflected against the stone floors.

The crowd twirls, figures moving in a blur.
In the corner, near the drinks, a man stands.

He gazes across the room, his eyes bright.
He cannot help but smile when he sees her.

She is the woman in red with dark lochs.
Diamonds cling to her throat as she moves.

She smirks before grabbing her husband’s arm.
Man and Wife swim in a sea of color.





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these-roses said...
May 27, 2012 at 10:44 am
it told a story. i really liked that
 
torilutz8 said...
May 22, 2012 at 9:10 am
Really cool idea and great imagery, keep up the good work, you have some awesome word choice in there :)
 
Josika.Nav said...
May 22, 2012 at 5:14 am
very coy and smart. when i read the line in which the man first sees her, i thought there was going to be a cinderella-dancing-into-happily-ever-after ending but the twist really had me. great work and keep writing :D
 
dbacksgirl29 said...
Mar. 22, 2012 at 6:00 pm
It really meant a lot to me when you commented on my poem so im doing the same for you. I really loved the image it painted in my mind. Keep writing! :)
 
DaisyAngel replied...
Mar. 22, 2012 at 6:04 pm
Thanks so much!
 
DaisyAngel said...
Mar. 22, 2012 at 5:48 pm
You're right. :)
 
illusions said...
Mar. 22, 2012 at 2:37 pm

This is great! I luv weddings!

Can u check out my work and comment plz?

 
DaisyAngel replied...
Mar. 22, 2012 at 6:13 pm
Sure, I'd love to look at some of your work, especially since you took the time to look at mine!
 
thetruthawaits94 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 22, 2012 at 2:15 pm
I really like this! That's awesome that it's a 10x10 poem. really cool! on the second to last stanza should it be locks? not lochs? Great job! 
 
thetruthawaits94 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 22, 2012 at 2:20 pm
as for interpretation, I think it is a man and a woman seeing eachother across the room to dance, and it turns out that the two are a married couple. Which is nice. :))) I don't know if I'm right though!!!
 
DaisyAngel replied...
Mar. 22, 2012 at 5:57 pm
You're right about everything. I was typing it up after I wrote it by hand and didn't look back over it before I sunmitted it. Also, the title should be "A Ballroom" and not "A Ball Room". I realized my error too late, as in the second I hit the
"Submit" button. I wish that there was a way to go back, but there isn't. :P 
 
thetruthawaits94 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 22, 2012 at 5:59 pm
Oh, I see! And I completely understand. I wish that was different. It's a bit annoying really!
 
DaisyAngel replied...
Mar. 22, 2012 at 6:10 pm
I know, right? I guess they don't let you change things because the submission process takes so long.
 
thetruthawaits94 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 22, 2012 at 6:32 pm
Yeah I wish that they did it the same way that you can change things in the forums though! I mean something!!! haha. You should send in more poems soon! Will you mind reading my two poems in the forums? I need some people to check those over before i send them in, and like no one is helping me out! lol. I want someone to give me a different point of view on them before i do anything!
 
DaisyAngel replied...
Mar. 23, 2012 at 6:27 am
I'd love to! I'll just have to find them in the Forum first. :)
 
thetruthawaits94 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 23, 2012 at 3:01 pm
Thanks! it's at the top of the forums called Let Go!
 
miaq96 said...
Mar. 22, 2012 at 12:15 pm
amazing....i could not help smiling when I reached the end:)
 
Zero_Black said...
Mar. 21, 2012 at 10:37 pm
very pretty! the imagery is well done and i love how you leave the "surprise" at the end. good job, for class work. 
 
DaisyAngel replied...
Mar. 22, 2012 at 6:19 am
Thanks so much! I appreciate you taking the time to comment.
 
Marissah said...
Mar. 21, 2012 at 6:19 pm

That's cute!!!

I like that you left me in the shadows until the very end!

That's a good way to capture a reader!!

 
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