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Did I ever tell you about my friend Jim
Who never changed out of the clothes he was in?
His blue jeans and t-shirt were crusty with age
And his smell was too odorous even to gauge.
When I met this poor Jim, he felt oh so sad.
No one would talk to him, he smelt oh so bad
So naturally, I had something to do
To keep this poor Jim from feeling so blue.
I needed a plan, to save his poor life
Social that is, and get him a wife
But all that will come, I said with assertion
Instead, as of now, your life is desertion.
You need to get washed, at least for an hour
And I said these small words and thought of my power
The power I had because I used Axe
Oh that magical deodorant always attacks.
Attacks all the smells and most germies too,
I thought, as I looked at poor Jim and his zoo.
No literally though, I promise you this.
There were birds in his hair, and a snake that did hiss.
Now this was enough. I needed to fix
This Jimmy with hair full of branches and sticks.
I thought of a plan, and then said with a yell
OH MY GOD, PLEASE GET RID OF THAT SMELL!
First things are first, I need you to kill
The birds in your hair, and the duck with its bill.
And the second thing that I want you to do,
Is remove the grass stains from off of your shoe.
And off of your face, and off of your hands
And off of your legs all covered in sands
And off of your ears, which look like a quiche
All covered with dirt like a half-eaten peach
And what’s with the shirt and what’s with the jeans?
Every time you walk by, my nostrils, they scream.
But I like all these clothes, we’ve been through a lot
Said Jim, as he foolishly got rid of squat
But I kept on convincing, and then I prevailed
As Jim realized that he soon would be jailed.
And finally, finally, without any pout
Jim and I took the shirt, and we threw it right out.