Self Destructing

January 21, 2012
I’m trapped in an open field
And I feel but it can’t be real
I’m lost within the found
As I sore to the ground

My darkest day have come and gone
The Devil’s demons have sung their song

And just because there’s not a knife through my throat
Or a bullet in my head
And though I’m still breathing
Doesn’t mean I’m not dead

Walking on the line between eternity and obis
In a land swallowed by madness
Lives and lives drowned in lies
My hopeless existence dragging by

A day-by-day war against thoughts
My living corpses begins to rot
With neighborhood gutters forever stained red
Cries for help in silent screams are that are said

The endless torment
That crashes against my lungs
Stealing my every breath
The pain has just begun





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This article has 17 comments. Post your own now!

Sairalinde_Lossehelin said...
May 23, 2012 at 1:27 pm
Wow this is magazine material! So powerful and alot of teens can relate to this feeling. Definately in my favorites. Your a fantastic writer.
 
SuNshiNe007 said...
May 16, 2012 at 11:08 am
Wow! Amazing! I absolutely love this one! Keep up the amazing work! I love how you wrote this one!!:D
 
wordbeater said...
Apr. 9, 2012 at 4:15 pm
I enjoy your interesting rhyming patterns. The only advice I give you is to be careful of your spelling, because it can easily change the entire meaning of a poem. 
 
wordbeater said...
Apr. 9, 2012 at 4:15 pm
I enjoy your interesting rhyming patterns. The only advice I give you is to be careful of your spelling, because it can easily change the entire meaning of a poem. 
 
ibadancer13 said...
Mar. 11, 2012 at 2:11 pm
Wow this was incredible! I loved the line "I'm lost within the found"... it was extremely powerful:) I thought how you switched rhyming schemes was very unique and cool, but also a little confusing at times. Otherwise great work! I loved this!:)
 
ibadancer13 said...
Mar. 11, 2012 at 2:11 pm
Wow this was incredible! I loved the line "I'm lost within the found"... it was extremely powerful:) I thought how you switched rhyming schemes was very unique and cool, but also a little confusing at times. Otherwise great work! I loved this!:)
 
Aginger said...
Feb. 19, 2012 at 10:51 pm
This is very deep and emotional. Pain and struggle interally is portrayed well in this piece, nice job! I would love if you could read and give feedback on my poem "Forever." Thank you, and well done!
 
AlwaysAbditive said...
Feb. 18, 2012 at 10:29 am
This is a really strong and emotional piece and I love that. At first I didn't really like how you switched from rhyming pattern to rhyming pattern but I realized that is unique to you and I never would have thought of that ;] Great job! I'd suggest looking over your first stanza. That's the only one that didn't flow to me. Maybe choose a different one to start it. Otherwise, fantastic piece; keep writing!
 
mmb77 said...
Feb. 16, 2012 at 11:00 pm
I agree with everyone else on their favorite stanza, I just like the flow. I wish the website didn't put it in such an odd format, but that's not your fault. I like how dark and sad this was
 
Kiki_McGee said...
Feb. 15, 2012 at 11:07 pm
I absolutely love the the line "... And though I'm still breathing/ Doesn't mean I'm not dead." Haunting. Besides a few punctuation errors this is a very well written and thoughtful poem.
 
EPluribusUnum This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 17, 2012 at 8:44 pm
I agree, that was my favorite line. This is a beautifuly emotional piece, and I feel like it really captures the true essance of suffering.
 
baller4eva This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 15, 2012 at 7:12 pm
I think that this poem is great and i loved your diction. The rhyme schyme was uinque, I though it was cool how you had rymes but not in a specific pattern. Keep writing!
 
SmileyRayyn said...
Feb. 14, 2012 at 6:39 pm
I like the way you make it feel like drowning sort of (at least to me). There were a few grammatical errors, but not too many, so it wasn't so bad. I liked the stanza that said, "...not a knife through my throat...doesn't mean I'm not dead." Really good thought.
 
beautifulspirit This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 13, 2012 at 3:53 pm
I like this:) And I agree with JustAnotherOwl. The second stanza was my favorite part too. The idea of a "day-to-day war" was good too.
 
Behind_a_Plastic_Smile replied...
Feb. 13, 2012 at 5:05 pm
well thanks so much you guys it means a lot to me =)
 
JustAnotherOwl said...
Feb. 13, 2012 at 3:46 pm
This was really great! I especially loved the lines, "And just because there's not a knife through my throat Or a bullet in my head And though I'm still breathing Doesn't mean I'm not dead" Besides that, I just really liked the entire piece as a whole. I though the word choice was brilliant! (:
 
JustAnotherOwl replied...
Feb. 13, 2012 at 3:47 pm
Yeah...It didn't let me space those lines out...sorry!
 
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