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Kryptonite

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"This will be on the final exam,"
Dan intones
As every person in class leans attentively forward
Well, except for one
But I mean, I have 10 PAGES LEFT
AND THE HEROINE IS JUST ABOUT TO PLEDGE HER UNDYING LOVE FOR THE HERO BUT MAYBE SHE WON'T AND SHE'LL GO FOR THE VILLAIN!
Or not.
Even in the privacy of my own home
Books during homework are a big no no.
BUT DAD! THE HEROINE IS JUST ABOUT TO EITHER KILL HERSELF BECAUSE THE SIDEKICK HAS TOTALLY TAKEN THE HEROINE'S BOY OR KILL THE SIDEKICK IN COLD BLOOD AND I MEAN I ALREADY KNOW ALL OF THIS SILLY FRENCH! S'IL TE PLAIT, PUIS-JE LIRE MON LIVRE?
Well, maybe that doesn't quite cut it
And even right before bed or after I'm in bed
Or when my parents are asleep
Or when the sun is starting to break through the clouds
I still can't seem to let my book rest
Dad will stagger in
Hair scrambled with bleary eyes
Lecturing me on the advantages of 8 hours of beauty sleep
HUSH UP FOR JUST 10 DANG MINUTES AND LET ME FINISH THESE LAST 15 PAGES I MEAN THE HERO IS DEFEATING THE VILLAIN
AS
WE
SPEAK
AND THE HEROINE IS SECRETLY ON THE VILLAINS SIDE AND SHE'S GOING TO JUMP IN AT THE LAST MINUTE AND BATTLE WITH AN INTERNAL STRUGGLE OVER GOOD VS EVIL AND GOSH DAD CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME FINISH?
Oh, how do I know what's going to happen?
Geez dad, this is the 5th time I've read it
Some might call me Clark Kent
And books are my kryptonite
They might not cripple me fatally
And invade my cells
And drive out my solar energy that's stored within my rock hard abs
But if you ask my parents
They definitely get in the way of homework.





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