I have to…

By
Because of him.
Because of me.
I know now
That I love him.
I know now
That he doesn’t love me.
I know now
That he never will.
Life can’t wait
For him
To realize
Me.
Life has to
Continue.
In spite of him.
In spite of me.
Time moves forward.
Like a story
With an unhappy ending.
Like a day
With crying at night.

I have to go.
I have to leave him.
I have to say goodbye.
I have to work this out.
I have to stop this moping.
I have to realize
That he loves her.
I have to accept
That
Him
And
Me
Will never equal
We.
I have to move on.
I have to love him.
I have to not love him.
I have to stop writing poems.
I have to express my feelings.
I have to remember my dreams.
I have to remember
My life
Before him.
I have to wake up.
I have to sleep.
I have to stop with this rambling.
I have to put it out there.
I have to be brave.
I have to forget him.
I have to remember him.
I have to remember her.
I have to remember that
Him
And
Her
Are a
We
Now.
I have to remember to be strong.
I have to stop singing old love songs.
I have to tell him how I feel.
I have to keep everything to myself.
I have to lie day and night.
I have to find the truth and light.
I have to go away for a while.
I have to remember to smile.
I have to make sure that he forgets
Those things I said
Those things I did.
I have to never see him
Ever again.
I have to stop with this pining.
I have to go join the outside world.
I have to stay in my fantasies
And stories.
I have to believe in magic
And miracles
And truelove.
I have to think about what I’ve done.
I have to stop making up sad love songs.
I have to life live.
Without regret.
I have to remember to run to fast.
I have to remember to follow the rules.
I have to remember to stay in school.
I have to finish my three new novels.
I have to hide behind my careful façade.
I have to remember to breathe inandout.
I have to love him.
I have to have him.
I have to tell my heart to just leave him alone.
I have to find another boy.
I have to go play with a toy.
I have to forget I wrote this poem.
I have to leave well enough alone.
I have to go hug my family tight.
I have to remember not to cry tonight.
I have to clean my room.
I have to go outside.
I have to cleanse my soul of this.
I have to kiss him.
I have to hug him.
I have to forget him.
I have to move on.
I have to write a song.
I have to delete this stupid list.
I have to finally get my first kiss.
I have to call Gabbie.
I have to call Maggie.
I have to e-mail Ali.
I have to sleep.
I have to dream.
I have to call him.
Or im him.
Or e-mail him.
I have to forget him.
I have to forget about love.
I have to go take a shower.
I have to cough.
I have to take some medicine.
I have to go eat.
I have to stop writing this poem.
I have to get him.
I have to forget him.
I need him.
I want him.
I can’t have him.





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