Ruined

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I am lost in your body.
Your muffled moans stifle
My too-loud, shuddering heart,
Drowning out the sounds of night.

Your muffled moans stifle
The night around us, protect me as I
Drown in the sounds of night:
Wind. Gasps. Stars. Whimpers.

The night around us, you protect me as I
Slowly dissolve. In the fierce night, the
Wind gasps – Stars whimper –
Smothering the cracking of my bones.

Slowly dissolving in the fierce night, the
Memory of desire amasses below our bed. I am
Smothered. The cracking of my bones is
Silenced, crushed beneath your furious heartbeat.

Memories of desire amass. Below our bed, I am
Longing to disappear myself into the whole dark
Silence. Crushed beneath your furious heartbeat,
I, too, am silent.

My whole self longs to disappear into the dark –
The shadows are no more frightening than you.
I am too silent,
Pressed against the curve of your spine.

The shadows are no more. Frightened of you,
I bolt shut my eyes and breathe the dark that
Presses against the curve of our spines.
Your mouth traces nonsense on my skin.

I bolt my eyes shut. Breathe. The dark that
Kisses me tastes my regret, sweet as
Your mouth. Trace nonsense on my skin,
Paper-thin. Promise me everything.

Kiss me. Taste my regret, sweet.
Is this passion whispering
Paper-thin promises of everything?
Murmuring gently so beautiful, baby

Is not whispering passion –
Your blazing arms holding me,
Your gentle murmur my baby, so beautiful,
Hollow kisses spent quickly and cheaply.

Your blazing arms must hold me
Because now I am splintering. I am
Hollow. Kiss-spent. Quick. Cheap.
Ghostly and faint in the pre-dawn somewhere.

My heart shudders too loudly
Because I am splintered. I am
A ghost, faint in the pre-dawn. Where
Is my body? I am lost.





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