LVB (villanelle)

August 18, 2011
By snaomi PLATINUM, Cheshire, Connecticut
snaomi PLATINUM, Cheshire, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 38 comments

“Death – come when thou will

I shall meet thee bravely.”

If death is noise, then why am I to fear?
My voiceless mouth distorts the words I pray –
Let thunderous Heaven overflow my ears!

Beyond my shuttered eyes all others jeer –
Upon my noiseless mind shrill vultures prey –
If death is noise, then why am I to fear?

For muted ages I have persevered –
Beat back the headstrong current of dismay –
Let thunderous Heaven overflow my ears!

Worlds whisper gently through each murmured year –
A century as silent as a day –
If death is noise, then why am I to fear?

Around me, friends and lovers disappear –
Inside my spiral thoughts, the world grows gray –
Let thunderous Heaven overflow my ears!

Clamorous rapture, cacophony so clear –
Disharmony please steal my soul away –
If death is noise, then why am I to fear?

Since fate will lead me deafly through the years –
Then let the end advance without delay –
So death is noise, and I refuse to fear –
Let thunderous Heaven overflow my ears!


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This article has 12 comments.


on Apr. 18 2016 at 2:46 pm
favorite piece

on Jul. 8 2013 at 10:32 pm
AlaskaFrost GOLD, Acushnet, Massachusetts
17 articles 7 photos 131 comments
after all this time, this is still my favorite piece on this site!

on Jan. 24 2012 at 4:56 pm
marissadele PLATINUM, Danbury, Connecticut
20 articles 3 photos 388 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you know how you feel, and so clearly what you need to say, you'll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now." -Taylor Swift

I've never heard of villanelles...but wow! that was very good!

on Jan. 21 2012 at 1:17 pm
EPluribusUnum DIAMOND, Woodbine, Maryland
59 articles 24 photos 280 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head)."
-Sylvia Plath

Mad Girl's Love Song is what got me into vilanells in the first place! Whenever I write poetry I keep coming back to them. I'll have to get a few of mine up onto TI.

on Jan. 21 2012 at 1:13 pm
EPluribusUnum DIAMOND, Woodbine, Maryland
59 articles 24 photos 280 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head)."
-Sylvia Plath

Ooo! I love villanelles! They're so much fun to write. This is a great one. Awesome word choice.

on Jan. 21 2012 at 12:11 pm
Hannibal_the_Vegetarian_Cannibal SILVER, A Nice Place In, Virginia
7 articles 2 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain." ~Anonymous


"For he loved her, as you can only love someone who is an echo of yourself in your time of deepest sorrow." ~ Orson Scott Card

I love this? The wording and the overall flow of the poem is great! I love its meaning too.

5/5

on Jan. 20 2012 at 9:44 pm
AngelsLullaby GOLD, Neverland, Idaho
12 articles 7 photos 95 comments

Favorite Quote:
Music is a higher revelation from wisdom and philosophy. ~Ludwig Von Beethoven

I've neve even heard of villanelles until now. It flows perfectly and I really like the word choice. It's definately a 5 start poem.

on Aug. 25 2011 at 1:33 pm
AlaskaFrost GOLD, Acushnet, Massachusetts
17 articles 7 photos 131 comments
This is such an amazing poem! Villanelles are supposed to be the hardest poems to write, but nailed it! It's so well written, and it flows so nicely! It sounds like a poem I would read in English class. So great!!

on Aug. 25 2011 at 12:17 am
SecretFlame PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
20 articles 1 photo 375 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have a life. I just choose to ignore it."
-one of my friends

The growth is done well, but I think yo could add a couple more stanzas to make it more detailed. 

(I'll have to reexamine this poem to look for clues. OOOOHHH I feel like a P.I. !    :)

 


on Aug. 24 2011 at 11:29 pm
snaomi PLATINUM, Cheshire, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 38 comments
oh one question too - do you think it has enough of a storyline and a climax?  i want it to build throughout, and i'm still not sure if the growth is great enough

on Aug. 24 2011 at 11:28 pm
snaomi PLATINUM, Cheshire, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Thank you so much!  It's a poem but because it's a villanelle, there's a lot of repetition, giving it the kind of refrain feeling. (Btw if you liked the style of this, read Sylvia Plath's Mad Girl's Love Song - amazing)

 

And there are actually two clues as to the speaker of the poem, who inspired me to write it - one is the quotation at the beginning and the second is the title - any guesses? :)

 

thanks for you detailed and helpful feedback!


on Aug. 24 2011 at 11:23 pm
SecretFlame PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
20 articles 1 photo 375 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have a life. I just choose to ignore it."
-one of my friends

I truly enjoyed this. Are these lyrics or a poem? It was very original and the word choice was wonderful. Part of me could grasp what you were talking about, but another part of my mind went what? The poem is a bit baffling, because you don't know who is telling it, but I think it worked well for this poem. 

 

Your take on death was very unique, I enjoyed this, because it wasn't cliched in the slightest. I liked the length.

 

"Let thunderous Heaven Overflow my Ears!" is a great line and I loved it, though it got a bit repetitive after a couple of time. I understand repetitiveness though, It's a useful tool. 

 

This was beautifully written, especially with the old English kind of accent, that added another depth but wasn't over powering the way used it.

 

The one thing I would have to say is that it was a bit confusing. Towards the end I was looking for an unveiling of the narrator, but none came. I didn't understand where you were coming from, yet I loved the poem anyway, that shows how good a writer you are. Nice job!



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