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LVB (villanelle)

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“Death – come when thou will

I shall meet thee bravely.”

If death is noise, then why am I to fear?
My voiceless mouth distorts the words I pray –
Let thunderous Heaven overflow my ears!

Beyond my shuttered eyes all others jeer –
Upon my noiseless mind shrill vultures prey –
If death is noise, then why am I to fear?

For muted ages I have persevered –
Beat back the headstrong current of dismay –
Let thunderous Heaven overflow my ears!

Worlds whisper gently through each murmured year –
A century as silent as a day –
If death is noise, then why am I to fear?

Around me, friends and lovers disappear –
Inside my spiral thoughts, the world grows gray –
Let thunderous Heaven overflow my ears!

Clamorous rapture, cacophony so clear –
Disharmony please steal my soul away –
If death is noise, then why am I to fear?

Since fate will lead me deafly through the years –
Then let the end advance without delay –
So death is noise, and I refuse to fear –
Let thunderous Heaven overflow my ears!





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This article has 12 comments. Post your own now!

Bodaciousmonster said...
Apr. 18 at 2:46 pm
favorite piece
 
AlaskaFrost This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 8, 2013 at 10:32 pm
after all this time, this is still my favorite piece on this site!
 
JaneCapelle This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 24, 2012 at 4:56 pm
I've never heard of villanelles...but wow! that was very good!
 
EPluribusUnum This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 21, 2012 at 1:13 pm
Ooo! I love villanelles! They're so much fun to write. This is a great one. Awesome word choice.
 
IceFox416 said...
Jan. 21, 2012 at 12:11 pm
I love this? The wording and the overall flow of the poem is great! I love its meaning too.

5/5
 
AlaskaFrost This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 25, 2011 at 1:33 pm
This is such an amazing poem! Villanelles are supposed to be the hardest poems to write, but nailed it! It's so well written, and it flows so nicely! It sounds like a poem I would read in English class. So great!!
 
AngelsLullaby replied...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 9:44 pm
I've neve even heard of villanelles until now. It flows perfectly and I really like the word choice. It's definately a 5 start poem.
 
shadowrider said...
Aug. 24, 2011 at 11:23 pm

I truly enjoyed this. Are these lyrics or a poem? It was very original and the word choice was wonderful. Part of me could grasp what you were talking about, but another part of my mind went what? The poem is a bit baffling, because you don't know who is telling it, but I think it worked well for this poem. 

 

Your take on death was very unique, I enjoyed this, because it wasn't cliched in the slightest. I liked the length.

 

"Let thunderous Heaven O... (more »)

 
snaomi This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 24, 2011 at 11:28 pm

Thank you so much!  It's a poem but because it's a villanelle, there's a lot of repetition, giving it the kind of refrain feeling. (Btw if you liked the style of this, read Sylvia Plath's Mad Girl's Love Song - amazing)

 

And there are actually two clues as to the speaker of the poem, who inspired me to write it - one is the quotation at the beginning and the second is the title - any guesses? :)

 

thanks for you detailed and helpful feedback!

 
snaomi This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 24, 2011 at 11:29 pm
oh one question too - do you think it has enough of a storyline and a climax?  i want it to build throughout, and i'm still not sure if the growth is great enough
 
shadowrider replied...
Aug. 25, 2011 at 12:17 am

The growth is done well, but I think yo could add a couple more stanzas to make it more detailed. 

(I'll have to reexamine this poem to look for clues. OOOOHHH I feel like a P.I. !    :)

 

 
EPluribusUnum This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 21, 2012 at 1:17 pm
Mad Girl's Love Song is what got me into vilanells in the first place! Whenever I write poetry I keep coming back to them. I'll have to get a few of mine up onto TI.
 
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