Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

Self-Examination

Custom User Avatar
More by this author
Recently i've been noticing a decline in my attention.
Indeed, there seems to be a strange, akward relief.
A lessening in a most necessary kind of caution.
It's strange that i havent experienced this before.
It's like all my wishes, thoughts and beliefs
Have taken a fall down to my feet, through the floor.

They dissapeared to a most secretive place.
I don't hope for any exciting event.
I'm unable to regret any of my past mistakes
Nor despair about a cramped up future.
I'm not looking foward to any moment.
There's nothing with which my thoughts can be enraptured.

It's definitely not depression.
Nothing close of attaining nirvana.
This is not a lack of affection.
There's no will to stop living.
No mystery or unsolvable enigma.
One cannot compare this to a dark and twisted painting.

Actually its the absence of this relation we call "caring".
An absence of attachment to things related and unrelated.
Apparently indifference came into the making.
Probably from ignoring those who cared to hurt.
I guess that's the relation that comes from what we wanted.
To not care for the bad or to make it divert.

If you were to compare it to weather,
It wouldn't be "good" or "bad" but an everlasting "okay".
If it were a colour it wouldn't get better,
In fact it would be the absence of any colour.
Black, white or gray, depending of what your belief says.
Assuming you understand, i guess we're already closer.

I guess it's time for me to conclude.
All i have to say is that though it's unidentified.
And may just seem quite absurd.
The lack of all and any concern
Is probably more dangerous than suicide.
For life is a gift that we didn't have to earn.
But to enjoy it you have to wish or yearn.



Join the Discussion


This article has 1 comment. Post your own!

annexgrey This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 24, 2011 at 6:46 am:
Amazing, dear. I love it.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Site Feedback