Forgiveness is vacant

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I could stand in the rain.
All disoriented with pain.
Only to realize
I was drowning in my lies.
I would give my apology
Only to have you look down on me.
It'd be like a lions mane
Strong but vain.
I'd say something way to idolized
Then have your face fall to a desperate size.
Then I'd become extremely guilty
And say "nothing ever mattered to me"
I used to pretend the word didnot consist of thiefs.
Mean people with terrible grieves.
No matter how much it could rain
I'd never actually feel the tiny drops
I'd always be numb from here on out.





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