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I’ve hated you for years,
And you’ve tried to seduce me.
I never took the bait
Because it was all a joke to you;
A big “f*** you” to me.
I realized it rather quickly.
But somewhere down the line
Our constant bickering changed your mind.
It wasn’t a joke now,
Bit an issue of pride.
No girl can make you feel inadequate,
Especially someone as annoying and ugly as her.
I was never on for alcohol,
And you knew that quite well.
So when you saw me at that party,
You knew exactly what to do.
When I poured orange juice into my cup,
You craftily waited, then took the vodka and filled it up.
Hoping for a lowered inhibition
To make a fool of me;
You put me in a situation,
To make me topless and crazy.
But even under the drink’s spell,
I knew better than listening to you.
As I was dancing, you took off your shirt.
You used it like a net and pulled me close.
I took your shirt and threw it at you.
I said, “No, no, leave me alone!”
But that wasn’t enough for you;
There was something more you had to do.
You came up behind me,
And grinded against my back.
I felt your heat, your sweat, your bulge,
So I turned around to confirm my fears.
You lean in to drunkenly kiss me,
I dodge it and say, “Get the hell away from me!”
I walk away, but still look back at you.
Your football player muscles glistening.
I can’t help but feel attracted to you,
But because your suck a jackass,
I don’t care for you.
And have no sympathy for the things I always do.
You had your friends come over to me,
And try to change my mind.
But really they were doing your dirty work,
Resupplying me for a laugh.
I said, “Run off and leave me alone.”
I wonder what time it is so I check my phone.
It’s only eleven o’clock.
I’ve been here for an hour.
My ride went upstairs a minute ago,
With some girl by the hand.
I go outside by the pool to relax.
He’s obviously in a bedroom getting some ass.
My foe follows me to the pool,
And he sits right next to me.
He tries to apologize, but put his hand on my knee.
I say, “Am I not making it clear? Stop touching me!”
He indignantly lifts me and throws me into that water.
I float to the surface and know I have to leave.
But then it hits me that I’m stuck here for a while.
My ride is busy, and I’m out here with this man-child.
I have nothing left to say.
He really went way too far.
“C’mon, let me help you out”, and extends a hand.
I grab it and pull him in; now the shit has hit the fan.
But instead he keeps his cool.
“Yeah, I deserved that for being such a tool.”
He gets out of the water and leaves me there.
I think maybe I’ll be left alone now,
But he returns with two towels and give me one to use.
This is the prize I get for taking his abuse.
I chug my orange juice, still unaware.
The vodka hits me all at once.
“Let me take you upstairs to find a change of clothes.”
“No, I’m fine now. Please just leave me alone.”
My speech is slurred and I’m having trouble walking.
He lifts and carries me, and shushes me to stop talking.
He brings me to a bedroom and drops me on the bed.
He rubberbands the knob then closes and locks the door.
“What are you doing?” but he turns off the lights.
“I’m not going to sleep with you. I will put up a fight!”
He starts kissing me, harder and harder,
And pins me to the bed in order to control her.
I let out a whimper as he continues.
He started to unbutton, unzip, undress.
I tried to kick, but he straddled me.
I scream as loud as I can, an incessant noise.
He covers my mouth and starts laughing.
“If you make another sound, I will hit you back.”
For every tear that fell,
He stole a kiss from me.
For every cry I let out,
I was forced to touch him, obediently.
For every defiant move I made,
He thrusted himself inside of me, in order to get laid.
I looked at his muscles, still glimmering;
The thing every girl loved, but what I’m fearing.
I look into his eyes, a deep espresso;
So charming to teachers, but oh so evil.
His smile, so straight and white,
But his words so stinging and twisted.
He flips me over then dominates me.
He grips my wrists so hard and tightly.
He leans down and whispers in my ear.
“You can’t get away now; I finally got you.
You’re a worthless piece of sh**.
Don’t ever forget, I’m always above you.”
He takes his hand and starts to grope me.
“Just take it all in. I’m the one that touched you.
You’re not too bad of a fuck
For such an uptight asshole.
I thought you’d really such,
But I guess the virgins are the sweetest.”
He got up from the bed.
And lifted me as well.
My body when limp,
As he tried to cast his spell.
“If you say a word to anyone
I’ll make you’re life a living hell.”
He buttoned and zipped his pants,
Then looked back at me.
“What? No snide remark?
You always hid behind your words,
But now you’re not so powerful. Just nothing.”
He leaves me in the bedroom.
And I started to cry.
I take my clothes and dress myself.
I feel completely dead inside.
I go out into the hallway,
But I couldn’t seem to find my ride.
I start to walk home.
From the wet heavy clothes
Because of our “swimming”.
It starts to rain and I feel worse.
I call my parents to come get me.
I was grounded for weeks,
But they didn’t understand.
I couldn’t tell them why,
Or how, or what happened
At that party in the summer.
I just want to stay in bed.
The new school year rolled in,
And I saw that boy at last.
The sight of him nearly brought me to tears.
He pretended not to know me,
Except in English class.
He whispered, “I hear you like it in the ass.”
My heartbeat rose every time I saw him.
My breathing heavied whenever he walked in.
My throat dried, I couldn’t say a word.
In my mind I was screaming, hoping to be heard.
Not only did he torment me in my dreams,
But he’s my living nightmare.
The pressure finally gets to me.
It’s just way too much to handle.
I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!
I need to say it for everyone to hear.
You all need to listen now,
I need to make this clear.
“He raped me, feeling no remorse or sorrow.
He hit me and bruised me
Like this brute’s ragdoll.
He’s cunning and manipulative.
He got his friends to join
To take a away something so pure from my loin.”
“Of course he raped you”, sarcastically.
“He could have any girl
So why the hell would he rape you?”
“You’re such an attention whore, stop lying!”
“You need to give it up already,
And just quit your whining!”
My days are a living nightmare.
My nights a living hell.
I can’t seem to get away,
Or manage to break his spell.
Everyone’s in love with him
And thinks I’m the freak.
They tell you to speak up,
But there’s no one to listen.
Everyone just laughs at me,
And pushes me into locker doors.
They throw threatening notes at me,
And trip me onto the floors.
Your face is etched
Forever in my mind.
Your evil eyes,
Your prickly scruff,
But no matter how much I hurt,
It’s never enough.
I’ve been pushed and pushed.
I finally go off the edge.
The dull pain of depression
Has kept me in my bed.
But soon my spirit will be freed
From this body that’s binding me.
I swallow a few extra pills,
To get some peaceful sleep for once.
No more living nightmare,
Not once I’m gone.
Maybe you’ll finally realize
What you’ve really done.
You made a live being
Feel so helpless and worthless,
That there was only one way out.
You’re cruel and sick, you psychopath!
One day in your jail cell you’ll know what it feels like
To have a living nightmare every day and night.