My mouth is dry, sweat beads on my forehead, my knees buckle, and I collapse under the weight of the truth, the presence of the absence. All along, every day, and I couldn’t see it. I was blinded by the light of another sun, drowned by the water of another sea. But the same words were spoken, though there were tears instead of smiles. A mask, a disguise, hiding the world from my eyes, and now it’s been lifted, the truth has come out. You were there, always there, and I took it for granted. You knew me better than anyone, but that doesn’t mean you understood. I lashed out, accused you of covering the imagined sun that shone on my imagined life. A terrifying sight I must have been. I couldn’t see how my words hurt you, for in my world, you were a star, shining bright, loyalty never fading. But you cried tears of darkness that washed my perfect world away, leaving me in the shadow of what could have been. I was confused at first, overwhelmed really, but now I see. It was my fault, for my head was in the clouds.
October 11, 2010