until this very day...
i honestly thought there was something wrong with me...
i mean, i looked at all the other girls, scanned them, made comparisons,
&& observed quite closely.
i deeply admired how in life, they knew exactly what they wanted to be.
&& blinded by envy, i saw no flaws...
but when i looked at myself in the mirror...
all i viewed was a complete mess; a catastrophe.
not of any physical reason...but mentally.
i didnt know who i was, why i was there, and what other people thought of me.
days, weeks, months, years...
they all just...flew by.
and as everyone else was happy and living their lives...
i was still stuck playing 21 questions and pondering, "why?"
&& on the path to self discovery i realized that i could never be defined;
i am so unwritten...in a book where all the typical people are inscribed,
in a book where everyone wants the same thing...
text in which there's no room for doubt; nothing worth deciding.
im so not there.
im authentic,
beyond anyone...i cant compare.
im a precious work in process,
untouched...
pure && in the air
consumed && taken for granted
simply because im a girl with a heart made of gold...
waiting for the good life,
knowing that being patient and treating others the way you want to be treated is getting old.
and unlike all the others...
i refuse to settle.
i know i will never be defined...
&& that's what really makes me better.
my name is jalandra monique bridges,
&& that's all you and i need to know;
i am so unwritten...
im learning to love myself.
there's so much room left to grow.