chrisbriones (or whatever)- holy lord FINALLY someone on this site that gives negative feedback! even on the bad poems i've seen people be like: "this is amazing. i love it". its really frustrating. if you could read the poem i have up and critique it i would appreciate it.

author of the poem- the only thing i didnt like in the poem was that you seem to be criticizing others, claiming that they only care about themselves, but you don't talk about how you can be selfish at times. i think it would be nice if you level with selfish people and explain your own selfishness and then talk about how you rise above it.

well III really like this poem. i can tell that it really came from your heart and those are the best kinds of writers. my favorite line is, "i try to punch down this barrier, yet i have no success." that line really spoke to me!

as for "chrisbriones" it's just one person's opinion. although in my mind i find out quite rude to say you don't like someone's work that they obviously spent a lot of time on. if you don't like it, then click NEXT ARTICLE. dont hurt people's feelings.

this is a great piece and it's one of my favorites. don't get down!

you can rate/comment on some of my work, too if you'd like. great job on this! keep writing!(:

Well considering I had to write a poem for English using that format (which was very hard to try and make it sound fluid) I don't think I did half bad.

As far as you "bashing" my work-which I happen to be proud of- I just so happened to look at some of your work and they aren't exactly my cup of tea.

I am more of a fiction/ short story writer, so with that in mind I honestly don't think I did a complete hack job like you claim I did.

I did appreciate the compliments that you threw in there, even if they were disguised by your other remarks...

I'll be frank: I don't like it too much. It doesn't read smooth, it's inconsistent in rhythm and pleasantries to the ear, and it's just plain unattractive. However, despite this, i do take a deep liking to why you made the poem and what you're saying, i just don't like the way you approached it. I think it deserves more than five minutes, in fact i believe it deserves to be made into a project. The message is profound, and the line "I am a child hidden by the shadows" is so strongly suitable and chilling. The repetition of that line resonates the emotion of the piece.

I apologize for my seeming-bashing of your work, but do understand that I merely wish to let you know that you have to go back to it. I can tell you can make it much better and even stronger than you might of originally intended.

And, if i might suggest, maybe you could experiment with abstract or indirect tactics. Don't necessarily say it so directly. Perhaps you may be better at that and you'll be able to make your work all the more impressive.

Keep writing.