Breakup

Burning fire runs through my being
darkness grips my consciousness
of all the things I used to be
silence and sorrow's all that's left.

Chocolate curls and grass green eyes
now tauntingly wrapped in lies
If only now I could forget
the burning love that died.





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This article has 9 comments. Post your own now!

sleeplessdreamer said...
Jul. 27, 2010 at 2:46 pm

Good again!! This is really cool. I love the last stanza... and I'm just saying that... haha ;)

 

 
sleeplessdreamer replied...
Jul. 27, 2010 at 2:46 pm

I mean I'm NOT just saying that

 

 
Inherinerd replied...
Jul. 27, 2010 at 2:47 pm
thanks its not the longest and most heart wrenching piece or anything i just wrote it for fun!
 
Inherinerd replied...
Jul. 27, 2010 at 2:48 pm
Okay i was a little confused!! :)
 
sleeplessdreamer replied...
Jul. 27, 2010 at 2:49 pm

Hey I'm not trying to say that I just wrote all these comments for payback, BUT if you ever have the chance I would really appreciate it if you could read some of my stuff. :)

 

 
Inherinerd replied...
Jul. 27, 2010 at 2:50 pm
Of course I can!! and i will try and give you honest feedback if thats what you want!!
 
sleeplessdreamer replied...
Jul. 27, 2010 at 2:51 pm
Definitely... none of the fluffly comments. Just tell it like it is please... Thanks!
 
ELM522 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 21, 2010 at 6:34 pm
This is beautiful!!! I love poetry, and I am part of my school's literary magazine, and I have to say this is one of the best I've ever read!!! This also ties in with the saga I'm writing now!
 
Inherinerd replied...
Jul. 21, 2010 at 6:54 pm
Cool!! and thank you!! I really like to write poetry although i'm not the best at it!! :)
 
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