waiting by the phone
butterflies flapping their wings nervously in the pit of my stomach
silence
anxiety
fear
ring
a short car ride
walking through the glass doors of the hospital
unaware that it would be the place I would be spending all my time everyday
nervous pacing
pain
tears
hurt
being completely oblivious to what was going on
pale, blue scrubs mixed with starch, white jackets
the almost too clean scent filling my throat
fear
anger
silence
watching the one I love drift in and out of consciousness
silent prayers
pleading
wanting nothing more than a kiss good night
constant flower arrivals
cards from people whose names escape me
phone calls from strangers telling me I could call whenever I needed
struggle
gain
loss
better
worse
a twenty one day visit that felt like eternity;
something that took everything
and left us with one positive outcome
another chance