Our Ocean

May 13, 2008
I walk like a mouse's run
quietly, quickly, so not to be shot down
by something bigger
than I could ever understand
at that moment
but, don't you?
Do you understand?

I walk like a mouse's run
to the crack in the door
Peer in with my green eyes,
filled to the brim
and spilling over.
just like the sink I see you pathetically sobbing over
Your brown freckles sparkle in the floresent light
Your thicked rimmed glasses are thrown to the floor
And all of your blood, anger, despair,
rushes to your face
gives it a rose color.

You let the water pour and pour
Trying to drown out your emotions
as you throw cold water over your flushed face

My mother said you eyes
were never blue,
They were an ugly gray.
I guess,you didn't deserve blue
And I wanted to believe her, but
They shine out now
Bluer than ever
Like the ocean

Remember when your strong arms carried me
Wrapped in my blanket
At five in the morning
To the beautiful Ocean
Brother Peter woke me gently
And we lay beneath the stars
They streamed overhead like giant faries flying by
Gleaming quickly in the dark cold sky
In metor shower

After we watched the sun rise
I stared the ocean down
The waves crashed over eachother
The blue and white foam spewed all over
Such a beautiful love

Yet in my nightmares the waves swallow us all
I'm stuck on the shore calling out to you
Praying It doesn't take me too
But it does, and we are all swirling,
drowning
In an uncontrollable rage

The calm water sets promises
not to do it again
Begs me to come in for a swim
So I go, I dive in
I can float! I can sink!
your cool water surronds me,
rocking me gently

You are the ocean with or without your waves
that strike against young legs and arms
meant for climbing and running and loving free
Yet you stirke and you strike, again and again you hurt me
It gets harder and harder, month after month,
Until it's year after year
Now I am used to the ocean's rage

You still promise sometimes
To keep your waves under control
At first I believed you and dived in,
again and again


I walk like a mouse's run
I watch you through the crack
in the door
I pity you, so much pity
You wish temporary regret
lead to forgiveness
But forgiveness is never temporary
And I have none for you

The world hears my story
The cruel world wants me to hate, or to take pride
they ask, "why don't you hate?"
they ask, "why are'nt you proud?"
they demand it, but they don't understand it
how the love, remorse you showed
every once in a while
swept me in like the unpredictable ocean
it was our ocean of rage,
it was our ocean of love.





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