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Dear Honorary Friend

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You are an amazing person and
I love you to death.
But we need to talk about
your beard!
It’s just plain gross.
The way it flows from your chin
like a child vomiting chocolate milk. It
makes me want to cry because
it doesn’t reflect
the beauty
of your personality. It
is overwhelming
when I look at your face. It makes
you look like a rugged wilderness man.
I hate it and
you should
change and
never
look back because sometimes
change
is good.





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