Epiphany

Death cuts at my face and I begin to think. What has my life come to? Have I been squandering it away pointlessly waiting for a day that shall never come? Is it possible that I have been so naive to dream unrealistically just to watch my world crumble? Ha I laugh at my once proud dreams. My once proud life. Everything since then has jumped off an abiding cliff happy to offer its service in the destruction of yet another fragile life.
I hold tight to the rope which grasps me rigidly to the ground. But even now its threads are snapping and my grip willingly loosens. All I can do is look up to the sky and gasp. In the very heart of my destruction I see…beauty. Even that word which we hold so highly to our hearts is weak in comparison to this sight. I can not hold a single word to this anomaly. Velvety blue so soft I would love to wrap myself in it and never come out again. Lay merci to its elegant form forever cocooned in its sweet ecstasy. Do you think it at all odd that in the very moment of my ultimate downfall I look up and cry at the splendor I see? Huh. I guess any sane person would. For I sit here bleeding my very soul in ink to tell you I’m ecstatic to see the blue sky above me. Perfectly serene and waiting for me. Waiting for redemption. I guess that’s always what I’ve been searching for. A way to erase my past, live for the present, and fly into the casually future.
And as I feel my hand slip from the rope of reality…..I laugh. For this is the last thing I shall see before entering the forgotten beyond. And as I stare death in the face I feel myself grasped by an epiphany. My life has been one full of friends and love. Something most will never find nor seek in their life. And I find myself thinking that it’s never pointless to dream an impossible dream because it is in those dreams that we have the courage to find hope, love, and peace. It is in those dreams that we truly find ourselves.





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Pati said...
Dec. 17, 2009 at 3:15 pm
What amazing insights for a young woman - and so starkly rendered! I love the phrasing.
 
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