Dark Tranquilities | Teen Ink

Dark Tranquilities

October 28, 2009
By calephchad BRONZE, Guin, Alabama
calephchad BRONZE, Guin, Alabama
4 articles 0 photos 84 comments

Fractured inside my shell,
as I wonder what is about me.
Confused with curious assumptions,
while solace inches me to breathe.
Darkness consuming me,
as it pushes me deeper into my slumber.
A dream, awakening me,
sprouting me out to what lies asunder.



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This article has 25 comments.


on Nov. 22 2009 at 10:43 pm
ShernayB. DIAMOND, Southfield, Michigan
62 articles 1 photo 881 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some things will never change"---Tupac

Oh my goodness. You are truly talented. I love this piece.

on Nov. 20 2009 at 10:17 am
4everluvjc BRONZE, Plantation, Florida
3 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
nothing is impossible with God! Try him and you'll see :)

I really liked it. It had such powerful words. Keep writing.

on Nov. 19 2009 at 8:38 pm
Inkspired PLATINUM, Whitby, Other
26 articles 0 photos 493 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If one will scoff at the study of language, how, save in terms of language, will one scoff?" - Mario Pei
"I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die." Isaac Asimov

This is great, I love the description and convoluted order, the only thing is, on the line "solace inches me to breathe", I think you might want to change your wording, because it doesn't make any sense the way it is. But I still love your work use and it just digs at your brain. Great job! (thanks for the comment!)

on Nov. 19 2009 at 7:55 pm
firstsnowfalls DIAMOND, Marcellus, New York
51 articles 6 photos 105 comments
very effective and moving. great job. my only suggestion is to try not to repeat 'me' so much. otherwise, great job! if you get a chance would you mind reading/commenting on my poem The Pyramids? i could use some feedback. Thnx! :)

belle GOLD said...
on Nov. 19 2009 at 8:35 am
belle GOLD, Easley, South Carolina
13 articles 0 photos 7 comments
wow this is really good it kinda hit me in a way i can't explain