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Stop The Violence This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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   Drugs all over under the ground.
Guns, people crying, putting each otherdown.
People every day do crazy things.
Buying fancy cars and a lot ofrings.
You have nothing to show for yourself.
You're dying on the inside,and you have bad health.
I wonder what the community can do.
I have noidea, not even a clue.
I look in the paper and I see someone dead.
They layon the stretcher like it was a bed.
The mothers stand in silence.
Peopleshould think TO STOP THE VIOLENCE!!!


This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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Meashka_baby said...
Jun. 7, 2012 at 9:41 am
Oh my God this is an AMAZING poem, I've been writing poetry ever sience I could hold a pencle and you can go far with this poetry trust me, I should know :)
 
Tornado M. replied...
Aug. 30, 2013 at 2:01 pm
Actually, that just indicates her favourite work which another person wrote. Why she would favourite this, I do not know...
 
thewriter19 said...
May 26, 2012 at 9:07 am
In order to become a better writer...you have to give very constructive critism and point out both negitives and positives. Poetry within itself is self expression. But the best poets became the inspiration to future thinkers. By giving dishonost critism it just limits potental
 
thewriter19 said...
May 26, 2012 at 9:04 am
Well. I wasn't a big fan of this one because the words are so simple and uneducated. The rhymes are forced and lack realism. However, it is direct and clear...and you work the simple rhyme sceme to your benifit annoymous. But I am quite supprized that this poem was picked to be number one. It doesn't really make me think about anything. The message is one sided and lacks deeper meaning. What I think that you can make this better is to change the words to a more natural rhyme pattern and use meta... (more »)
 
Tornado M. replied...
Aug. 29, 2013 at 7:11 pm
Ah-ha! Definitely agree with that. :D
 
writer5This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 4, 2012 at 4:04 pm
to the author of this poem: when i said that about opinoins i didn't mean you! i pressed "new comment" accidently instead of reply, so i was addressing someone with a negative comment. you poem sends a good message!
 
ArexYouxReady said...
Apr. 12, 2012 at 1:14 pm
This is wonderful.  I think that the concept is an everyday topic that everyone can relate to.  You presented your topic in a clear and concise way that left me thinking.  It also left me feeling as if I need to do something, which is good as that's what work should do: inspire people.
 
K@TchandlerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 12, 2012 at 11:48 am

wow, i really liked your poem! You should check  some of my work out.Like my always love at home poem. I think you will like it. I might be wrong about this, but your poem kinda....like told me that you write about important stuff in the world,just like i do. Please write back :)

                                    K@T

 
snowleopard100 said...
Apr. 12, 2012 at 8:23 am
This is a great concept to write about, and you did it in a nice, clear way. Nevertheless, the wording used should be heavily considered as well as the flow of the poem.
 
Mayz_ said...
Apr. 12, 2012 at 7:28 am
This poem is really good, and idont blame you for the spelling mistakes because when i published my poems, the actual website made spelling mistakes. So Yeah Really Amazing <3 
 
gdsgfewhjfwe said...
Mar. 21, 2012 at 2:14 pm
i think thatyou could have done abetter job woth yourspelling. Word.
 
Celeste_N. said...
Mar. 21, 2012 at 11:23 am

Amazing but needs work..PLEASE READ MY ARTICLES AND COMMENT!!


 
Let-Love-In said...
Feb. 28, 2012 at 8:11 pm
i do think the concept and idea is very well done, however it was a bit choppy and that did take away from it. but not bad. 
 
booklover272 said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 2:39 pm
Next time work on your grammer and proof read! But topic and a good poem.
 
JosephEdward said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 11:26 am
Great idea! It could improve in grammer, and word choice.
 
HPRGSuperFan This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 1, 2013 at 5:34 pm
I completely agree! Good start, though:)
 
applesoranges said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 11:16 am
i likeed it is this about the mexican drug wars
 
LeviNathanial said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 11:14 am
Good idea! I think that you are right.
 
Shiblondche said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 10:40 am
Good flow, however it would be more deep or subtle without the capitalization in the end. Overall, the message is one of truth. It is a nice piece.
 
sweetiepieleesh said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 10:39 am
I can feel the intensity when you talk about drugs and violence, i can almost feel like im there, and I can almost sence that you've been either involved with drugs and violence or someone you care about was.
 
I_Can_Haz_Derp said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 9:50 am
ELLO GOVENAH!
 
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