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Stop The Violence This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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   Drugs all over under the ground.
Guns, people crying, putting each otherdown.
People every day do crazy things.
Buying fancy cars and a lot ofrings.
You have nothing to show for yourself.
You're dying on the inside,and you have bad health.
I wonder what the community can do.
I have noidea, not even a clue.
I look in the paper and I see someone dead.
They layon the stretcher like it was a bed.
The mothers stand in silence.
Peopleshould think TO STOP THE VIOLENCE!!!


This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.





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ArexYouxReady said...
Apr. 12, 2012 at 1:14 pm:
This is wonderful.  I think that the concept is an everyday topic that everyone can relate to.  You presented your topic in a clear and concise way that left me thinking.  It also left me feeling as if I need to do something, which is good as that's what work should do: inspire people.
 
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K@Tchandler said...
Apr. 12, 2012 at 11:48 am:

wow, i really liked your poem! You should check  some of my work out.Like my always love at home poem. I think you will like it. I might be wrong about this, but your poem kinda....like told me that you write about important stuff in the world,just like i do. Please write back :)

                                    K@T

 
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snowleopard100 said...
Apr. 12, 2012 at 8:23 am:
This is a great concept to write about, and you did it in a nice, clear way. Nevertheless, the wording used should be heavily considered as well as the flow of the poem.
 
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Mayz_ said...
Apr. 12, 2012 at 7:28 am:
This poem is really good, and idont blame you for the spelling mistakes because when i published my poems, the actual website made spelling mistakes. So Yeah Really Amazing <3 
 
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gdsgfewhjfwe said...
Mar. 21, 2012 at 2:14 pm:
i think thatyou could have done abetter job woth yourspelling. Word.
 
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Celeste_N. said...
Mar. 21, 2012 at 11:23 am:

Amazing but needs work..PLEASE READ MY ARTICLES AND COMMENT!!


 
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Let-Love-In said...
Feb. 28, 2012 at 8:11 pm:
i do think the concept and idea is very well done, however it was a bit choppy and that did take away from it. but not bad. 
 
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booklover272 said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 2:39 pm:
Next time work on your grammer and proof read! But topic and a good poem.
 
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JosephEdward said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 11:26 am:
Great idea! It could improve in grammer, and word choice.
 
HPRGSuperFanThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 1, 2013 at 5:34 pm :
I completely agree! Good start, though:)
 
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applesoranges said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 11:16 am:
i likeed it is this about the mexican drug wars
 
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LeviNathanial said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 11:14 am:
Good idea! I think that you are right.
 
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Shiblondche said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 10:40 am:
Good flow, however it would be more deep or subtle without the capitalization in the end. Overall, the message is one of truth. It is a nice piece.
 
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sweetiepieleesh said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 10:39 am:
I can feel the intensity when you talk about drugs and violence, i can almost feel like im there, and I can almost sence that you've been either involved with drugs and violence or someone you care about was.
 
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I_Can_Haz_Derp said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 9:50 am:
ELLO GOVENAH!
 
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RejoiceTheySay... said...
Dec. 24, 2011 at 2:07 pm:
i like it alot u seem to have a very innocent but deep voice and i like the contrast of the scary things and innocent voice
 
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McDayn'Night said...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 11:32 pm:
night i like the rhyme
 
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belieber said...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 5:25 pm:
i like the message of this piece, ALOT. you're a good writer :)  but a piece of advice (from a poet myself), try to use a simliar number of syllables in each line, so they flow together more smoothly. good job though :)
 
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Villangel said...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 5:08 pm:
I really like this, it speaks the utter most truth. You have a great way of making the words go together.
 
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venom_the_poet said...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 2:24 pm:

THIS IS GOOD

 

 
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