Sometimes when I think of him I get all teary inside.
Other times I feel likeI never want to see him again.
I soon realize that isn't true
because deepdown inside I want to see him,
to give him a choice - be a part of my life orwalk away.
I cannot ask him to make that choice.
Because although it doesnot always feel it he does love me.
One day I will have to make this choicefor him
although it will hurt me tremendously
I will do it.
He's mademany choices over the years that hurt me.
He never showed any regret.
Thatis why I won't show any either when I make this decision.
For it is hisdecision in a way,
since he never made any attempt to changethings.
However, it does scare me to think
that he won't be there to walkme down the isle
or to see his grandchildren for the first time.