I Will Be Free

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I Will Be Free
It hurts. It hurts to think. It hurts to be. I hurt.
I want to be free
I ask how much longer this will go on but no answer. Mom said it wasn’t always like this we used to be in love. Mama looks bad and I feel almost guilty for feeling the way I do
I want to be free
I shudder every time a car comes around our block. I can’t take it anymore. It hurts to hurt
I want to be free
Tonight was bad. He was drunk and I got beaten. He will pay I know he will
I need to be free
School is my sanctuary but today the gym teacher asked about my bruises. I lied and said that I fell down the stairs. She new I was lying but I remember what happened last time
I need to be free
He says I hate you and I think he means it. He says you were a mistake. I love him but he doesn’t love me. I wish he would love me back. But I know that he won’t
I need to be free
Social services came to the house today and I hoped that this was the end. He wasn’t home but mom lied, like he does nothing. Then he drove into the driveway and my heart skipped a beat. He came in like he was a real dad, and for just one moment I wanted to believe it but my stomach felt uneasy because I know what is going to happen when the social worker leaves
I’ve got to be free
After the social worker left he slammed me across the face. I fell to the floor and struggled to get up. Mom walked out and I cried for her but she went into another room as he screamed at me
I’ve got to be free
The bruises he inflicts on me are not as bad as the ones he yells at me. I am bruised all over, inside and out. My heart bleeds for a love I’ve never had for a love I’ve never felt. I want to be loved
I’m going to be free
Weekends always feel like the longest but I assure myself that Monday will come soon
I will be free
Monday comes and I know what I have to do
I will be free
I know I have to stay strong, and I know that everything is going to change. I hope it is for the better
I will be free
I tell my teacher I have to speak with the nurse and she understands. She walks me down and smiles at me she says “You are a very brave girl, I am very proud of you.”
I am almost free
The nurse and my teacher are shocked when they see all my bruises and then they call the social worker in
I am almost free
My teacher says I did the right thing, but I can’t help but to feel guilty. She says it is all going to get better now
I am almost free
I show and tell the social worker everything. I stay strong through it all. She shakes her head and then tells me she is going to take care of everything
I feel free
I know what is coming next but I know that change is good I am strong
I am almost free
My mother and father come in and my father yells that I am a liar he would never hurt me. I say “I hate you, you hit me all the time, I am not a mistake!”
I am almost free
My mother fights on my father’s side saying that “We love Sarah and we never do anything to hurt her.” She says “It is not our fault she is bad, those bruises are obvious that she is very clumsy.” I stare at her in shock of the words she just said I know now she is no longer my mother but she is just like him
I know I’ll be free
My teacher says that it is in the courts hands now. As we walk back to class she says she will arrange for me to stay with someone. I start to cry. My tears symbolize the pain I have felt for all these years and triumph and joy because I know. . .
I am free





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