Something (Pantoum)

October 9, 2009
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There’s something I can’t quite figure out,
There’s something I just can’t see,
Some little thing that fills me with doubt,
I’m not sure, maybe it’s just me.

There’s something I just can’t see,
It’s like I’ve mistaken the route,
I’m not sure, maybe it’s just me,
This annoying sensation that makes me want to shout.

It’s like I’ve mistaken the route,
A weird squirming inside that won’t leave, can’t get free,
This annoying sensation that makes me want to shout,
What is it; I want someone to answer my plea.

A weird squirming inside that won’t leave, can’t get free,
Even so, it’s a feeling I’d hate to be without,
What is it; I want someone to answer my plea,
it’s definitely something to think about.

Even so, it’s a feeling I’d hate to be without,
Some little thing that fills me with doubt,
It’s definitely something to think about,
There’s something I can’t quite figure out.





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Fayrouz This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 15, 2010 at 6:18 pm
I agree with the emotion in this b/c I've felt that way before. I like the verbs that help me feel things better as well. I have to be honest with you though that the rhyme scheme isn't that consistent...it does kind of run smoothly, but it sounds a bit choppy in areas. but i can tell that you put effort into it...perhaps you'd like to check out some of my writing? in the meantime, keep writing b/c that's the only way to get better and ENJOY writing!
 
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