Unsafe Edge MAG

October 1, 2009
By Recalledxo BRONZE, San Diego, California
Recalledxo BRONZE, San Diego, California
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment

i.
He writes apologies
His sleeve is stained with ink
Or blood
It doesn't matter, both are sin
Ink that spells out sorries
Blood that reeks of –

ii.
– sweat.
It is the scent of war
The breeze that forces itself through winter weather
Freezing, numbing
Even the earth has not forgiven him
He snuggles himself into the blanket
Watching the snow clear off his window
It takes an –

iii.
– eternity, she whispers, her voice seductive
It is with promise, with temptation
Rarely have the two ever gone in hand
She will whisper forever,
And he who wants immortality
Fame, glory, will hesitate
Don't be afraid, she tells him, it will be yours –

iv.
– some day, he tells a sullen boy, I'm going to tell you about my dream
A gleam of shined metal by his side
A sword, gun, it doesn't matter
He wears the scars on his thumbs with pride
A badge of honor none will give him
He has named his weapon after a god
He will wield his weapon with the grace of a –

v.
– boy, she muses. Boy or man?
She laughs when he answers,
He is no boy
The queen is ruthless, absolutely ruthless
But in her brilliance, he will see beauty
A beauty that cannot be imagined, she is –

vi.
– a flower, the scent of a flower.
He was never good at identifying plants
My knight, she whispers
Do not be frightened
Do not be frightened

viii.
His letters go flying
The pen he had used, broken
There is ink everywhere,
It is still his sorries, everywhere
“Come,” his queen demands
“Come, my love.”


The author's comments:
To be honest, you can think of this poem in any fashion you want.

I just want to get it out that this poem's simply about a man, boy rather, who wants to desperately make progress within himself; yet no one will let him.

The story I used for this was:
1. A queen always needs a knight.
2. He is needed by only her, no one else will honor him [badges of honor, his scars.]
3. He will fall in love.
4. She is evil, above all else.
5. He is enchanted.

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This article has 7 comments.


on Dec. 25 2013 at 3:45 pm
theatregirl PLATINUM, Lathrup Village, Michigan
30 articles 12 photos 212 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To thine own self be true," -from Hamlet, a play by Shakespeare.
"I have sworn on the altar of god eternal hostility against all forms of tyranny over the mind of man." - Thomas Jefferson

Btw, what style of poetry is this? I seen poem with similar number stanza format , but I dint remember where - could tell me any other example of this style ? :)

on Dec. 25 2013 at 3:11 pm
theatregirl PLATINUM, Lathrup Village, Michigan
30 articles 12 photos 212 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To thine own self be true," -from Hamlet, a play by Shakespeare.
"I have sworn on the altar of god eternal hostility against all forms of tyranny over the mind of man." - Thomas Jefferson

Very good peom, it flows well, I like the pause and how u break he poem up into numbered stanza it's very cool, I have check out more of your work.

on Mar. 1 2010 at 9:55 am
hip_nicole14 BRONZE, Phoenix, Arizona
2 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write something worth reading or do things worth writing.
-Benjamin Franklin

wonderful poem.

very detailed.

BMMSRN said...
on Mar. 1 2010 at 8:58 am
this was a great poem i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

on Feb. 26 2010 at 8:11 pm
Recalledxo BRONZE, San Diego, California
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Thank you for the comments. (: I understand if the meaning of the poem was a bit confusing, but I'm glad you two thought the flow was amazing.

I hope you have some idea of it, at least.

on Feb. 26 2010 at 9:25 am
BlackMoonWhiteSky PLATINUM, Cedar Park, Texas
44 articles 3 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
Thus is life, live it, or die trying!

Very interesting, good flow, very visual.

on Feb. 25 2010 at 5:08 pm
LifeMemories GOLD, Cleveland, Ohio
17 articles 0 photos 2 comments
this is beautiful and the flow of it is magnificent


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