Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

Why I Do What I Do

By , Sullivan, WI
Scared like crazy, heart pounding like a drum
I don't know why, but I'm no longer numb
I've always had a fence around my heart
I want it gone, and being here is a start

I've been hurt so bad that I don't bleed
There's a side of me so few have ever seen
I close it off to the world
They can never know I'm just a girl

I fight the fight to stay alive
But it seems like I'll never do anything but survive
When things get unsteady I start to shake
I need someone who will not break

You say that you really care
But all I seem to do is stare
Words have come to mean so little
And this game of love is an unsolvable riddle

I know that you've dealt with hurt before
But do you know what it's like to wake up on the floor
I don't want to play the victim here
But I need to tell you about my fear

When we fight I refuse to cry
Because that was weakness in his eyes
I wasn't a person, just a face
And I refuse to once again run that race

I awoke to nine broken bones
But the worst pain was knowing I was alone
I was too young to deal with it
The knowing he didn't care one bit

The doctor knew he started a riot
But I begged him to keep it all quiet
Three weeks later I used that knife
Because I was done with this stupid life

It took me time to heal and see
The world isn't really all against me
I still wake up and scream at night
But you could be the one to put it all right

So my love, I'm sorry if I hurt you
I just want you to know why I do what I do
Please don't get angry, and don't misunderstand
I'll always be here, right up to the end

<3





Join the Discussion

This article has 1 comment. Post your own now!

heaven said...
Sept. 2, 2009 at 12:52 pm
i loved this its so true and aawesome. you are a really good writer. o and also no i cut myself and this is all real to me i love it.
 
bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback