You See (Taking a Break)

August 18, 2009
There is a certain urgency
in the scrambling for solid ground
with our little
bug legs and arms.
But we fall anyway;
all the way off
and onto scattered leaves and dirt;
like our eye sockets fill up when we die.
It's all okay, though,
because our stupid body mass
isn't even enough to kill us
when we hit the ground.





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This article has 10 comments. Post your own now!

kiwi12 said...
Jun. 30, 2010 at 5:23 pm
I like this. Especially the picture that you picked to go with it. Now everytime I see an ant I'm going to think of this.
 
kiwi12 replied...
Jun. 30, 2010 at 5:25 pm
and also how you can easily compare it with a person. It's almost freaky. :D
 
S.E.M This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 1, 2010 at 1:30 pm
Thank you so much! =D
Haha, I've always seen myself (and most other people) as nervous, scrambling little things... <3 ^ ^'
 
EdytD said...
Sept. 6, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Oh, and one question that in no way is meant to be offensive or nosey - are you Jewish? (Your quote: This, too, shall pass, comes from the Jewish bible - w/ King Solomon.)
just curious.
 
S.E.M This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 7, 2009 at 6:36 pm
Haha, well I'm not Jewish... I just admire that quote quite a bit. Realizing that has gotten me through hard times.
 
EdytD said...
Sept. 6, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Ok - i really like the idea with the ants (i wrote a poem about them a while ago, but it's not on teenink - i never thought i'd find another), and it would have been a great poem, except that you call their body weight "stupid." You might have been trying to embody an ant, but it came across as merely whiny and not particularly poetic. Other than that, good job.
 
S.E.M This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 7, 2009 at 6:40 pm
It wasn't necessarily about ants, just about bugs in general. I wasn't using 'stupid' to sound whiny... It was just how I felt at the time--- stuck and pathetic and small. And I wasn't particularly trying to "embody" a bug... I was just trying to get across what the situation felt like inside.
 
EdytD replied...
Sept. 7, 2009 at 8:42 pm
yeah, I see what you mean, and I can see how you would feel. Though I would have used "pathetic" instead, b/c even though you might not have meant it, the reader might have taken it that way.
Either way, it's a great poem.
 
S.E.M This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 29, 2009 at 7:45 pm
Thank you very much! I'm going through a rather strange break-up at the moment, and this is (one of the many) result[s].
Well, thank you again for your kind words, and I'll be sure to stop by and see what you've got to show!
~S.E.M
 
NascentNovelist This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 28, 2009 at 1:20 am
This poem is very interesting. It really makes me think... No one really sees from that perspective, but you seem to have captured it perfectly. Also, I can look at it in many different ways to mean many different things. This piece is definately a keeper. It's very unique and enjoyable.
 
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