I Let Myself

July 13, 2009
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Sometimes I think I’m going crazy. Sometimes I see
things that can’t possibly exist (like you and me – together)
and I find myself reluctant to erase the hallucination.
I let myself dream until my dreams betray me.

I’ve always been so terrified of death. With you as
my life support, I let myself forget how to breathe.
I’m more comfortable this way, but being unable to
receive fresh strength from the world, I will surely
choke on carbon dioxygenated grief should you leave.

I’m hooked on drugs that don’t harm yet are so
dangerously addictive, and on a smile that never fails
to sway me. I gave you my hand, then let myself be
led by your light down a precarious path of emotional
risk and mental fulfillment.

Metaphors are usually exaggerated, but this time I truly
feel like doing something drastic, just to see how you
would react. Yet the most shocking and unexpected thing
I could do is already done: I let myself fall in love with you,
and now I’m letting the doors of sanity close behind
my worn-out, dependent self.

I sit back and while I watch my life run its course, I let my
inkless pen continue scribbling in the dark of sleepless nights.

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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

CoolBreeze This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 1, 2011 at 7:14 pm
Its a good idea but it doesn't flow that easily.
DiamondsIntheGrass This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 4, 2010 at 6:29 pm
i love the consept and the word choice, but there doesnt seem to be much of a flow, it seems a little paragraph-y.
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