Didn't

Hours spent,
Crying about,
What could have happened,
But didn’t.

Nights spent,
Staring at my ceiling,
Noticing all the cracks of paint,
Plain white paint.

Days spent,
Tapping my fingers,
Grinding my teeth,
Wishing I could go back in time.

Years spent,
Wondering about us,
Us three,
Wondering what we could be doing.

What could we be doing?
Painting our nails?
Shopping at the mall?
Or playing ‘Truth or dare’?

What ever happened?
To our strong friendship.
Which broke like the crack
On the BFF necklace you gave me.

I seem to remember,
Sitting alone on the swings,
While you two consulted
To tell me what I was doing wrong

I kind of remember
You yelling at me,
Tears streaming down my face,
The first swear word I'd ever heard.

I asked you to hold on.
To be strong.
To re-write our stories
With a happier ending

Until middle school,
I pleaded.
Please, stick with me,
Until that brand new building

And I guess that’s what happened.
Over the summer best friends,
But you two sat at one table,
And me all alone.

So now I sit,
Here on my bed,
Reminding myself
Everything happens for a reason.

Hours spent,
Crying about
What could have happened,
But didn’t.