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Do You Dare

Do you dare
To come out at night
While the moon is full
And the stars are bright

The valley we rule
Echoes our cries
We rule everything
Under the night skies

Do you still dare
To come at us tonight
To fight and win
Until mornings light

The are our home
Do not enter we say
It all belongs to us
You may not stay

People try to find us
We've been around forever
We hide in disguise
Because we're noble and clever

We have teeth as sharp as knives
Our feet run with the wind
Our piercing eyes
Glow within

Just another second
Until you're staight in view
So now tell me human
Who's better than who?





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Fangz said...
Sept. 29, 2009 at 7:53 am
I like this one. The ending was a pleasant surprise. The rythm in this is generally better than in that of your other poems, but there are a few really clumsy-sounding lines. You might want to check your grammar, too. If you made those small changes, this would be very good. Just some constructive criticism. Other than that, great job. Keep writing!
 
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