If the world was crazy, you know what I’d say?
“How do you think the weather is today?”
What would you do if you lived in a shoe?
Then they would say, “Well how do you do?”
“Hey, did you see that red pen?”
“No, But I saw a red hen!”
Then I would say, “Do you live with Brad Paisley?”
And that’s what I’d say of the world was crazy.

If the world was crazy, you know what I’d hear?
Somebody saying “Put some graffiti on that Vermeer!”
Also, I’d hear “I’m over here!” when kids were playing hid-and-seek.
Oh, and also, “Can I have some rotten meat?”
And maybe I’d hear, “I’m drowning, I’m drowning!” when they were perfectly fine!
Also, I would hear “Oh no! I’m much too old to wine and dine!”
“Man I can’t do that, I’m way to lazy!”
And that’s what I’d hear if the world was crazy.

If the world was crazy, you know what I’d be?
A big pink elephant, eating peas!
I also might be a dog sleeping on the roof,
Or maybe even something that goes “Poof!”
I could even be a car going “Vroom, Vroom!”
Or possibly a bomb going “BOOM!”
I could even be my teacher named Mr. Snavely!
And that’s what I’d be if the world was crazy.