As Daytime Melts Into The Night

June 12, 2009
By SilverDawn GOLD, Burnaby, Other
SilverDawn GOLD, Burnaby, Other
10 articles 0 photos 298 comments

As daytime melts into the night
Shadows emerge, long and slim
Our sun's presence fades out of sight

The darkness makes me shiver with fright
The sun's light is growing dim
As daytime melts into the night

Midnight monsters just might bite
Unnoticed, they'll steal a hand or limb
Our sun's presence fades out of sight

My hands shake and my face is white
The ghastly streets are just so grim
As daytime melts into the night

I gasp as my heart squeezes tight
Anxiety flows over my cup's brim
Our sun's presence fades out of sight

I hope I'll be alright tonight
Though the fog makes my eyesight swim
As daytime melts into the night
Our sun's presence fades out of sight.

The author's comments:
This is my first attempt at writing a villanelle. It's kinda weak and the rhythm is bumpy but I'll hopefully improve with practice. Many thanks to "Fangz" for telling me about this complex rhyming poetic form!

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This article has 16 comments.


on Jan. 19 2010 at 1:03 pm
xoxokelseyxoxo GOLD, South Plainfiled, New Jersey
17 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live, Laugh,love thats all there is to it <3

I really like this its absolutly amazing. really enjoyed the rhyme it flowed very nicely.

on Dec. 18 2009 at 8:37 pm
despurlock DIAMOND, Morgantown, West Virginia
79 articles 0 photos 179 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The heart has its reasons which reason does not know." -Pascal, Pensees, 1670

I love your villanelle! You did a really good job! Can't wait to read some of your other work!!!

on Dec. 7 2009 at 8:42 pm
This poem is very unique and intruiging! (did I spell intruiging wrong...) Anyway, good job! It's amazing how many rhymes you came up with for "im" and "ight." I would have been, like, totally stuck. Keep up the good work!

on Sep. 24 2009 at 4:52 pm
writerscramp PLATINUM, Green Bay, Wisconsin
33 articles 0 photos 130 comments

Favorite Quote:
Anyone who says winning isn't everything,
Has won nothing.
``Mia Hamm

Om--gosh-- I love it! favorites!

on Sep. 14 2009 at 8:24 am
MiuBlaze BRONZE, Upper Darby, Pennsylvania
3 articles 1 photo 7 comments
*gasps*..I love it!!!!!!

Quite an interesting style, I'll have to try out a villanelle. Your topic is so...horrorific!

Fangz PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 9 2009 at 1:20 pm
Fangz PLATINUM, Ware, Massachusetts
37 articles 15 photos 108 comments

Favorite Quote:
In necessariis unitas, in dubiis libertas, in omnibus caritas.

don't mention it, i love to help people be creative. impressive first attempt at villanelle, by the way.

on Aug. 28 2009 at 9:18 pm
FashionGuru DIAMOND, Manhattan, New York
55 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I don't do fashion, I am fashion." -Coco Chanel

What is a vivanelle??? I really like this but I don't understand what a vivanelle is exactly. Can someone explain...

on Jul. 26 2009 at 7:49 pm
one_of_a_kind_girl GOLD, N/A, California
16 articles 0 photos 58 comments
oops did i spell that wrong?

on Jul. 26 2009 at 7:48 pm
one_of_a_kind_girl GOLD, N/A, California
16 articles 0 photos 58 comments
yea, im curious, ive never heard of a villanelle? but i like the poem!

SaraB. GOLD said...
on Jul. 24 2009 at 12:44 am
SaraB. GOLD, Phoenix, Arizona
12 articles 6 photos 215 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Whatever you are, be a good one" Abraham Lincoln

I'd never actually heard of villanelle before, but its interesting, I'll have to try one. Thanks for the comment on my slightly random haiku.

LIKEwhoaa GOLD said...
on Jul. 16 2009 at 4:13 pm
LIKEwhoaa GOLD, Carrollton, Texas
13 articles 0 photos 126 comments

Favorite Quote:
The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.
-Charles DuBois

im interested also...so, is the rhythm like ABAABAAB? anyway, it is really good:) i like it alot, and the subject is something that not many poems touch so, great work :)

<3

on Jul. 12 2009 at 7:09 pm
Dandelion PLATINUM, Franklin, Massachusetts
20 articles 8 photos 173 comments
I would NEVER have guessed that this was your first try at a vivanelle.

on Jun. 24 2009 at 4:11 pm
LoveLikeWoe DIAMOND, LeSueur, MN, Minnesota
54 articles 2 photos 748 comments

Favorite Quote:
Whoever laughs first has the sickest mind.

My "In The Presence Of A Spirit" Poem is a simple poem. There was no hand to grab because my hand would just pass right through his.

on Jun. 24 2009 at 4:07 pm
LoveLikeWoe DIAMOND, LeSueur, MN, Minnesota
54 articles 2 photos 748 comments

Favorite Quote:
Whoever laughs first has the sickest mind.

Thanks sooo much for the comment on my poem "Heart Breaking." I apreciate it.

Joanna said...
on Jun. 24 2009 at 3:50 pm
Joanna, St. Catharines, Other
0 articles 0 photos 165 comments
I'm intrigued. Can you tell me more about a villanelle?

I liked the poem, I just wish I understood the... formula for lack of better words, more.

on Jun. 23 2009 at 8:59 pm
LoveLikeWoe DIAMOND, LeSueur, MN, Minnesota
54 articles 2 photos 748 comments

Favorite Quote:
Whoever laughs first has the sickest mind.

awesome! Very beautiful!




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