Snow White at the Bat

Once upon a bright, sunny day
All the characters gathered to play,
Young, old, pretty and ugly the same,
All united for a baseball game.

Snow White was up at bat first,
Her face so pale, it matched Rose’s purse.
“Strike” yelled the ump, as the ball flew by.
“Oh come on,” shouted Humpty Dumpty, “At least try!”

Cinderella wiped off the ball and spat on the ground.
She clacked her cleats together upon the mound.
Then she let the ball go, full of enmity.
Oh, poor Snow White deserved at least some pity.

“Strike two!” shouted the ump, Snow White’s bat still upright.
“Snow White…” warned Beast, preparing for a fight.
“I can’t help it.” Poor Snow White began to cry,
But as she sobbed, a third ball whizzed by.

“That’s three strikes.” The ump said, “You’re out!”
Red hair, ablaze, Arielle began to shout.
“You’re the worst ump in all the land,
You couldn’t call a ball if it hit you in the hand!”

With crooked, yellow teeth, the umpire just smiled,
Arielle continued- “You ump worse than a child.
Your grandma could ump better than you,
In fact, I bet, mine could too!”

Cinderella just stood there as a fight broke out.
Rose and Beast began to shout.
Rapunzal made her way into the action,
Carrying her long locks in a proper fashion.

The three blind mice staggered past the crowd.
For their acute ears, it was far too loud.
Pinocchio said promptly- “I could ump better than you.”
But his nose disproved him thoroughly as it grew.

Prince Charming stood there looking…well…charming.
But the grimace on his face was quite alarming.
“I would be fighting as well,” Little Red Riding Hood began,
“But my mom said talking to strangers wasn’t really the best plan.”

“Okay, okay,” the umpire had had enough.
“If you want to play tough, I’ll play tough!
Get outta here, all of you!
You--and you--and you too!”

They paid no attention to the yelling man,
And silently, they devised a more effective plan.
All at once, they ran as fast as they could.
And gathered around where the umpire stood.

They rolled up their sleeves as prepared to strike,
When ET came around the corner on his bike.
He said, “Don’t hit him, don’t hurt him, don’t you dare.”
“Oh, go home ET!” the rest shouted as they continued to prepare.

That fleeting second gave way for the umpire’s escape.
And before anyone could catch him, he was well past the lake.
But as he ran, he slipped and fell, scorns and frowns broke into laughter.
And there’s only one thing left to say: Happily. Ever. After.





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