Sand Castles

April 29, 2009
By AndThisIsReal PLATINUM, Broadalbin, New York
AndThisIsReal PLATINUM, Broadalbin, New York
31 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dans chaque fil il y a un debut.


Your beautiful blue eyes
Or were they green?
Like an angry wave
Over an angry sea.
I tried to tame you,
Make you mine.
But you raged on and
I wasted my time.
Trying to build sand castles along your shore.


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This article has 4 comments.


on May. 18 2010 at 4:13 pm
WeepingWillow SILVER, Needham, Massachusetts
5 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.

I really like this poem, its simple, but says alot, check out my work sometime I can use all the suggestions I can get

on Dec. 4 2009 at 10:02 am
AndThisIsReal PLATINUM, Broadalbin, New York
31 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dans chaque fil il y a un debut.

Thanks so much for both the compliments and the creative critisism.

I really do enjoy your writing and I'm the kind of person who is open to suggestions.

I think your right about the last line.

And I also think I'll try to write more free verse.

Thanks again!

Have a lovely day.

GlitterFox said...
on Nov. 12 2009 at 6:41 pm
Pretty and potent. I especially love the last two lines; somehow they remind me of my past romance experiences. Maybe break the last line into two lines to keep the flow?

I'm glad you asked me to review your work--I'm enjoying every word.

on May. 26 2009 at 4:25 pm
ShernayB. DIAMOND, Southfield, Michigan
62 articles 1 photo 881 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some things will never change"---Tupac

BEAUTIFUL!




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