Sent Away

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One hour to pack,
Our lives into bags,
We may never come back,
So what can I put in the bags?

They are not large enough,
For all that I treasure,
I start packing my stuff,
But I can't pack pleasure.

How do they expect us,
To pack all of our things,
And sit quietly on a bus,
Waiting for what the next day brings?

When we have only a suitcase or two,
And no time or moving trucks,
Can you blame me for whispering anew,
"Sometimes the government really sucks!"?





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This article has 9 comments. Post your own now!

AppleFox This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 16, 2010 at 11:26 am
I can really feel the emotions behind this poem. You did a good job with rhyming, but one thing to avoid is to not repeat the same word at the end of a sentance. Differnt words that mean the same thing can make the poem more interesting.
When there is no substitue for a word you can try leaving the word out altogether by creating a sentance that is similar in meaning.
 
Inkspired replied...
Jan. 16, 2010 at 1:16 pm
Thanks! I'll try that
 
Schubster said...
Aug. 28, 2009 at 10:53 pm
haha, loved it. thanx for checking out my work.
 
ErumK said...
Aug. 28, 2009 at 1:05 pm
I love the first stanza. =)
 
S.t.S This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 8, 2009 at 4:28 am
I really love the first line: "One hour to pack,
Our lives into bags..." Very beautiful and hidden, but in a straight-forward manner... five stars!
 
READ*WRITE*LOVE*GREEN said...
May 25, 2009 at 9:21 pm
This happened to 92 Inuit in the 1950's, to all of Japanese descent during World War 2, and to a whole African-American suburb in 1969. I was totally surprised when I found out Canada did that! Thanks so much for all the comments!
 
windswift This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 23, 2009 at 4:15 am
this poem is really good, it shows strong emotion, and even though there was nothing about being sad mentioned i still got the heavy feeling of sadness. if you dont mind me asking, how long ago was this when it happend? i know exactly what the feeling is.
 
RheaD.Ravenfinger This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 22, 2009 at 12:51 am
I like the rythmn in this poem and it's a sad poem but a good poem. I like it. I didn't know even Canada did that. I knew China did.
 
gogreen2009 said...
May 12, 2009 at 1:45 am
I really like this it shows good quality of how people feel. That is actually how i felt when i moved!:)
 
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