I watch my old reflection
Walking through the water without struggling to hold on
I am light as a feather and so high
Floating about it all now
His arms wrapped calmly around my precious heart of love
As God shines throughout my being
And I think to myself, "I know what I want now"

But then December winds knock me down from my pedestal
I tumble into the depths of hell
Wishing God would just let go of me
I look around for his embrace
But all I find is a cold whisper
The rain pours down over my shattered mind
And I think to myself, "I don't want this anymore"

Through my slumbers
I am walking through an endless hallway, alone and so afraid
With no guidance, I walk in my self-pitying shame
The oxygen is leaking out from my lungs, until I have nothing to survive
And as my heart beat quickens in its pace, I ask him, "Why?"
The echos of my suffering, reverberate back into my twisted brain
And I'll never be the same
So I tell myself, "Go ahead and throw it all away."
Then a tiny voice whispers,"No not today."