April 9, 2009
Feel my pain,
Hear my screams,
watch me die and see me leave
with out a word,
with out a sound.
into the cold ,
unforgiving ground
you heard my heart,
as it stopped beating,
now that the life i had,
is slowly retreating
now i dont know,
what to do,
now that youve,
ended my life with you,
in this grave,
i wait and watch,
grasping the life i had,
by a notch

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This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

Lonleydandy said...
Jan. 17, 2010 at 3:22 pm
I actually have to differ with "Torsten O." because I did like it. I don't mind the length of the lines, as long as the content is good. Peronally, I think the breaks make it flow better than having no breaks at all. Great job :D
Torsten O. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 26, 2009 at 5:42 pm
I really really like this. the line breaks are a little frantic at times, but the last three lines are excellent (although I don't think I would have put the comma after had).
scribere said...
Apr. 25, 2009 at 8:14 pm
hi allie i really like this one
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