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If I kissed you...

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Author's note: Writing is my passion. If I don't write daily, I feel like my day is incomplete. I wrote this to...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: Writing is my passion. If I don't write daily, I feel like my day is incomplete. I wrote this to showcase where I am currently at, regarding talent in writing. Currently I have at least five other books I've started on which have the same amount of dedication and talent. When I manage to get a publisher I'll publish them as well when they are finished. This is the first big piece I've put out there that I feel truly shows where I am at in my writing. If you like it, keep in mind this is only part 1, and part 2 is in the works. Any good and constructive feedback is more than welcome. The more feedback I get, the more I will consider there being a part three.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... 22 Next »

Good News?

I woke up to the smell of burning. There was something about the smell that wasn't right, something that made me want to throw up. I think I knew what was burning.
Raiden tromped into the shack and I shook when confronted so suddenly with him.
He clapped his hands together once. “I have good news.”
My stomach muscles turned to stone along with the insides. My jaw clenched along with every other muscle in my body. He looked at my reaction, digesting it slowly.
Before I
This is the end of part one, and part two is in the works. The more comments I get, the more I'll think about extending the whole story into an exciting part three as well. Let me know if you like it!
knew it the bed squeaked as he sat on it beside my face. I jerked up, eyes alive before my brain came back to life. He grabbed my arm. “Look at me,” he murmured, his voice hoarse. I didn't know what he was talking about-I had been looking at him, surveilling him constantly since I saw him enter the shack.
I squirmed in his grip, still watching his every movement, but he looked at me as though I still were not doing what he told me to.
He moaned softly, “I went out today.”
“I noticed.” my voice shook.
He snorted. “Yes, you did, didn't you?” he had on a small smile, as though I was meddlesome, and he found it cute.
“We have a trailer now.” he looked at me, nodding in pleasure at fetching this desirable thing. “You will do for me what you said you would.” he stated, concretely. Seeing the hesitation in my eyes, manipulation fit into his, as easily as slipping on a glove. “Or he dies.” he let his voice trail off dramatically.
As soon as the desperation for John's life entered my eyes and the thought of his demise brought emotion to me, Raiden snarled.
“Uh!” He grabbed my jaw, almost dislocating it in his giant hand.
“Don't you see what I'm doing for you?” he half-whispered, half-snarled into my ear, his face touching mine as it shook. “I kill people every day, and I have refrained from killing one of the most annoying-most pathetic one I've come across!”
There was silence as I felt him grimacing into my ear. “I HAVE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE!” he bellowed into my ear, as I started shaking violently. I was too scared to even sob.
He grabbed my hair, painfully twisting it and pushing the back of my head up to make me face him directly, my jaw was jutted up farther than I thought it could go, and as he looked down at me, his face into mine, his eyes were trying to rip me to shreds on their own. His lips were grimaced as they floated over mine.
“Do not test me...” his voice shook now. He breathed hard, I whimpered in relief as his grip on my hair loosened. “What would happen?” he asked hoarsely, seemingly to himself as he looked me over with this strong, sick wanting.
“Uh!” I made this shocked, helpless noise as he let my hair go and pushed me by my back closer to him. He studied me, my face still hadn't moved from it's position, I was afraid he would hurt me more if I moved it. He looked at me expecting an answer, silently questioning.
“If you did what?” I choked, voice breaking.
He was almost panting, looking at my lips.
“If I...”
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... 22 Next »


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This book has 125 comments. Post your own!

Samantha_Lynn_Burke said...
Mar. 5 at 10:49 am:
So I'm only on page 10 and so far, I can't put my laptop down! This is great so far!!!!  
 
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AvrilThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 4 at 1:48 pm:
This book is like one of mine. Somewhat different. very Good though its awesome. I like the way you worded it.
 
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OliveTreeLover said...
May 1, 2013 at 2:27 pm:
Great Book!!!!!!!!!!!
 
KateLA replied...
May 9, 2013 at 1:11 am :
Thank you so much!
 
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Amina157 said...
Apr. 29, 2013 at 5:13 am:
Your story is amazing, i only post poems on teenink but may post some of my novels in future, I would love to be as good as you, your so talented and personally this is the best thriller I've read!!! Xx
 
KateLA replied...
Apr. 29, 2013 at 9:55 pm :
Thanky you very much, let me know if you would like me to return the favor and comment on some of your articles, and whether there are any spesific poems you might want me to take a look at :-)
 
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. said...
Apr. 3, 2013 at 8:01 pm:
This was absoulutly amazing!! I couldn't put it down! It was awesome. My heart was beating the entire time! My stomach was making the little flip-flops!! I loved it!! Keep writing!
 
KateLA replied...
Apr. 5, 2013 at 3:28 am :
Thank you so much! Let me know if you would like me to return the favor and comment on one of your articles, just leave your screen name and the article you would like me to comment on :-)
 
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Nimra Shaikh said...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 3:12 pm:
That would be so sweet!!! Thank you :D
 
KateLA replied...
Apr. 2, 2013 at 9:28 pm :
Sure, I'd love to return the favor :-)
 
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Nimra said...
Mar. 27, 2013 at 5:10 pm:
This story is so frightening and catching that I coudln't put it down, Katherine!!! You'll turn out to be a very good writer very soon!!! :D Best of Luck!!!
 
KateLA replied...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:26 am :
Thank you! If you would like me to return the favor and comment on one of your stories just let me know which one you would prefer, I'd be happy to.
 
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sweetangel4life said...
Mar. 18, 2013 at 10:48 am:
this is incredible and astonishing. i was terrified for the life of the characters, the whole time feeling appreciation for your writing skills. i was captivated by the thrill. u are waaaayy talented. keep writing :)
 
KateLA replied...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:22 am :
Thank you very much, if there's any specific article you want me to comment on just let me know which one :-)
 
sweetangel4life replied...
Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:54 am :
you're welcome. if you could read my story "falling in love..." yeah lol ik i hate the title but i couldnt think of anything when i posted it. thanks :) keep writing:)
 
KateLA replied...
Apr. 2, 2013 at 8:56 pm :
Don't worry about your title :-), mine's the one that sounds really weird, lol. I'll leave a comment!
 
sweetangel4life replied...
Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:29 pm :
lol thanks. i just replied to your comment. well keep writing :)
 
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MJLoverNerdThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 3, 2013 at 10:22 am:
Wow this story was amazing! Please tell me you're getting published or better yet this is turning into a movie! This story was just perfect beyond words, and had me to the edge of my seat the whole time I was reading it. The only thing I would want is John alive :( lol you just want him to live but how the story came to you noneoftheless was perfect anyways. Very good job you're an exceptionally talented writer.
 
KateLA replied...
Mar. 3, 2013 at 8:03 pm :
Thank you so much your comment made my day :-)
 
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BabyGirl123o said...
Jan. 17, 2013 at 11:34 pm:
I love it! it may have tok me a second but I loved it please go  comment on my picture itd called "Ushios Princess Form" it tok me almost 6 months to make it prefect hope you like it
 
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