Facebook Activity



Teen Ink on Twitter

Report abuse Submit my work Share/bookmark Email Print Home

The Black Arrow Murders

Rate this article:
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 21 Next »

Chapter Five: A New Friendship

The next day after school Brandon was walking down the hall with Grace and they were holding hands and Brandon stopped to talk to Noah at his locker.
“Hey Idiot.” he said
“What do you want?” Noah said in an annoyed tone.
“Well I just stopped to say hi before me and Grace go out tonight.” Brandon said confidently.
“Why do I care?” Noah said as he shut his locker.
“You’re just jealous.” Brandon said with a smile on his face.
“Why are you such a jerk?” Grace asked. “You can forget about going out tonight.” she said
“FINE!” Brandon yelled and walked off.
“I’m sorry about him.” Grace said.
“It’s fine.” Noah said
“Your name is Noah right? “Grace asked. “Yeah.” Noah said.
“Well I’m Grace.” She said with a smile.
“I know.” Noah said.
“Do you want to come over and do homework with me at my place?” She asked with a smile.
“Umm sure where do you live?” he asked.
“Just across the street in the blue house.” She said.
“Ok let’s go I don’t wanna stay here anymore.” He said and laughed.

Noah and Grace got to Grace’s house and Noah met her parents.
“Mom! I’m home and I brought a friend over to do homework.” She yelled into the kitchen.
“Hi sweetheart how was school? What friend came over?” Mrs. Simmons asked.
“School was fine and it’s my new friend Noah.” Grace said.
“Ok well have fun.” Mrs. Simmons said
“Love you mom.” Grace said.
“Love you too.” Mrs. Simmons said.

“Sorry about that.” She said.
“It’s fine.” Noah said as he chuckled.
“Are you’re parents that embarrassing when you bring friends over?” She asked.
“My parents died three years ago in a car accident.” Noah said.
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Grace said with a disappointed look on her face.
“It’s okay; I live with my older brother Charlie.” Noah said.
“That’s cool, where do you live?” Grace asked.
“About two miles away on a farm, no one lives around me.” Noah said.
“That’s cool.” Grace said.

Grace and Noah finished their homework and Noah went home but when he got home Charlie wasn’t there. Noah looked everywhere. Charlie was no where to be found.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 21 Next »


Join the Discussion


This book has 22 comments. Post your own!

Masey400 said...
Aug. 12, 2012 at 12:03 pm:
Great plot concept. It sounds very interesting. I think you should have made the detailed descriptions more gradual-said the whole thing about the 17 year old kid having dreamed of leaving his whole live when he gets in a fight with his parents or something.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Ashley_Tucker said...
Apr. 23, 2012 at 6:58 pm:
The entire first chapter was information overload. We don't need to know everyones life story before the actual story begins. Take your first paragraph for instance. Let us know this is all taking place in Black Arrow within the first page or two along with how much he hates the town. Towards the end of the first chapter let us find out that his parents died. That's heart renching stuff! But if I only know the boys name and where he is, how am I supposed to feel bad for him when you bring up tha... (more »)
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
DarkMountain said...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 12:07 pm:
Good story! But way too much "telling", in my opinion. Every emotion, action, or aspect of the story was relayed through an "and then this happened" format, which is great for a certain audience. However, I'd work on more of a "showing" approach- it can tear down the barrier between story and reader, and gives it a more real feel. Still, I liked the story a lot. Good work.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Ewburt said...
Nov. 12, 2011 at 10:27 am:
how did this get to #2 LOL
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
kitkat said...
Oct. 30, 2011 at 4:55 pm:
I liked it. 3/10
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
KangarooHulabaloo said...
Oct. 6, 2011 at 9:34 pm:
Cool story, I would just say that if you revise it, it will definitely be smoother
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Azrael said...
Sept. 14, 2011 at 11:03 pm:
it was gud and needed to sloe down a bit but i luved it :)
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
writerfreak21231This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 1:14 pm:
nightstalker part three, four, and five is now out! Go check it out if you liked the first and second! :)(:
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Marlo said...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 11:01 am:
Could have beenn better, man. It had its moments but overall felt lacking. Still liked it though.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Xxx B. said...
May 19, 2011 at 8:51 pm:
......woah.
 
Alec.M.Strong replied...
May 22, 2011 at 12:57 am :
what do you mean woah?
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
fc barca 10 said...
May 1, 2011 at 12:22 pm:
what can I say about this story, AWESOME! keep writing! I can't wait to read your next work!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
mac123 said...
Apr. 30, 2011 at 8:35 am:
Best book I've read on here! awesome story! please keep writing!!!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Beautiful Jaz said...
Apr. 24, 2011 at 12:43 pm:
this book was great, fascinating story and definetly a ending I didn't expect. Well done!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
PJD17 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 23, 2011 at 5:48 pm:
Great story! i love this kind of work  mystery genre is my favorite   Could you please take a look at and comment on my story Manso's Shame
 
Alec.M.Strong replied...
Mar. 23, 2011 at 9:12 pm :
thank you! I'll get to it when I can i've got lots going on now but I will get to it! :D
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
vikingfan1018 said...
Feb. 17, 2011 at 1:42 pm:
Thank you for the support!
 
Timekeeper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 22, 2011 at 8:05 pm :
This is neat, it was cool to be able to read the entire thing all the way through, but it was a little short! I look forward to your next work!
 
Alec.M.Strong replied...
Feb. 22, 2011 at 10:03 pm :
It is a bit short but it is a children's book, can't have it to long. I also plan to extend it a bit to add to the story. Thanks!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Blondi said...
Feb. 17, 2011 at 11:28 am:
Good job, Alec!  You have a talent for building suspense, once I started, I couldn't stop reading.  I just had to know what came next.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 

Launch Teen Ink Chat
Site Feedback