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The Black Arrow Murders

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Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 21 Next »

Chapter Two: A New Neighbor

When Noah got home he saw Charlie staring out the window down the road watching trucks come and go.

“What’s with the truck at Ol’ Man Brown’s place?” Noah asked.
“I think someone bought the old shack, I would never buy that load of trash.” Charlie responded.
Well Noah went to his room to start on his homework before he did his chores and his phone rings.
“Brandon...” he told himself.
“I’ll call him back later.”
Noah wasn’t very fond of school and he hated homework more then anything. Noah was barely passing his whole life; school just didn’t come easy for him. “Finally.” Noah said to himself as he finished his homework. When he left his room to go do his daily chores he noticed Charlie still staring out the window.
“You know it’s been three hours don’t ya?” He said.
“Yeah, I know. But whoever bought that load of crap house has been bringin stuff there all day.” Charlie said.
“Well I’m gonna go clean out the coop you should start on supper, Charlie.”
Noah said.
“Yeah I know. Whatya want for supper?”
Charlie asked.
“Whatever.” Noah responded.

The only animals that Noah and Charlie owned were three chickens. Noah loved the chickens and he talked to them like friends.
“Afternoon ladies”
Noah said as he walked into the coop. Noah loved spending time in the coop with the chickens; he loved the chickens and they loved him. Except the old rooster that would just sit in the corner of the coop and stare at Noah.
“Why is it that all you do is sit on your lazy butt?” he said to the rooster.
Well the rooster got up when Noah was cleaning the droppings from the chickens and the rooster pecked his butt.
“OW!” he screamed.
“You stupid rooster!” he yelled as the rooster made his was back to his corner and sat.
“Why does the bird hate me so much?” he asked himself as he walked out of the coop.

Charlie wasn’t really good at anything. Dropped out of school at sixteen and didn’t contribute much to the farm when his daddy was alive. He was really bad at cooking. That was probably what he was worst at. Noah got used to his meals always being over or under cooked.

Every night Noah and Charlie would stay up and watch old movies on the old television their parents owned. Pretty much everything was old on the Finch land.

“Are you ever gonna get outta this town?” Noah asked.
“I hope so; I wanna do something with my life instead of workin at Bob’s all my life.” Charlie said
Bob’s was the only restaurant in Black Arrow and Charlie worked there since he was fifteen.

Noah and Charlie weren’t very close. They used to be before their parents passed. Since their parents passed Charlie has kept most things to himself.
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This book has 22 comments. Post your own now!

Masey400 said...
Aug. 12, 2012 at 12:03 pm
Great plot concept. It sounds very interesting. I think you should have made the detailed descriptions more gradual-said the whole thing about the 17 year old kid having dreamed of leaving his whole live when he gets in a fight with his parents or something.
 
Ashley_Tucker said...
Apr. 23, 2012 at 6:58 pm
The entire first chapter was information overload. We don't need to know everyones life story before the actual story begins. Take your first paragraph for instance. Let us know this is all taking place in Black Arrow within the first page or two along with how much he hates the town. Towards the end of the first chapter let us find out that his parents died. That's heart renching stuff! But if I only know the boys name and where he is, how am I supposed to feel bad for him when you bring up tha... (more »)
 
DarkMountain said...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 12:07 pm
Good story! But way too much "telling", in my opinion. Every emotion, action, or aspect of the story was relayed through an "and then this happened" format, which is great for a certain audience. However, I'd work on more of a "showing" approach- it can tear down the barrier between story and reader, and gives it a more real feel. Still, I liked the story a lot. Good work.
 
Ewburt said...
Nov. 12, 2011 at 10:27 am
how did this get to #2 LOL
 
kitkat said...
Oct. 30, 2011 at 4:55 pm
I liked it. 3/10
 
KangarooHulabaloo said...
Oct. 6, 2011 at 9:34 pm
Cool story, I would just say that if you revise it, it will definitely be smoother
 
Azrael said...
Sept. 14, 2011 at 11:03 pm
it was gud and needed to sloe down a bit but i luved it :)
 
writerfreak21231This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 1:14 pm
nightstalker part three, four, and five is now out! Go check it out if you liked the first and second! :)(:
 
Marlo said...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 11:01 am
Could have beenn better, man. It had its moments but overall felt lacking. Still liked it though.
 
Xxx B. said...
May 19, 2011 at 8:51 pm
......woah.
 
Alec.M.Strong replied...
May 22, 2011 at 12:57 am
what do you mean woah?
 
fc barca 10 said...
May 1, 2011 at 12:22 pm
what can I say about this story, AWESOME! keep writing! I can't wait to read your next work!
 
mac123 said...
Apr. 30, 2011 at 8:35 am
Best book I've read on here! awesome story! please keep writing!!!
 
Beautiful Jaz said...
Apr. 24, 2011 at 12:43 pm
this book was great, fascinating story and definetly a ending I didn't expect. Well done!
 
PJD17 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 23, 2011 at 5:48 pm
Great story! i love this kind of work  mystery genre is my favorite   Could you please take a look at and comment on my story Manso's Shame
 
Alec.M.Strong replied...
Mar. 23, 2011 at 9:12 pm
thank you! I'll get to it when I can i've got lots going on now but I will get to it! :D
 
vikingfan1018 said...
Feb. 17, 2011 at 1:42 pm
Thank you for the support!
 
Timekeeper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 22, 2011 at 8:05 pm
This is neat, it was cool to be able to read the entire thing all the way through, but it was a little short! I look forward to your next work!
 
Alec.M.Strong replied...
Feb. 22, 2011 at 10:03 pm
It is a bit short but it is a children's book, can't have it to long. I also plan to extend it a bit to add to the story. Thanks!
 
Blondi said...
Feb. 17, 2011 at 11:28 am
Good job, Alec!  You have a talent for building suspense, once I started, I couldn't stop reading.  I just had to know what came next.
 

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