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Thief, Book 1: War

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AddictedToWriting
Thief, Book 1: War
Summary: Svet is a world separate from ours. Slightly smaller, a little more advanced, a little more unique. The people of Svet live with what we would consider to be extraspecial "Abilities". The number, strength, and type of Abilities varies from person to person.
Seventeen-year-old Zalika is a Theif. Her incredibly rare and potent Ability has sustained the Rebel movement in the hot revolutionary war ravaging the planet. But despite her growing fame (or, in some regions, infamy), her life is anything but ideal. She has more than her fair share of demons to fight.

This is her story.





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This book has 7 comments. Post your own now!

borntowrite said...
May 1, 2012 at 11:12 am
Wow.. this is pretty good. It is slightly cheesy and I think you need to write more detail, maybe describe more how the character is feeling. Apart from that I like it. 
 
AddictedToWriting replied...
May 1, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Thanks!  Yeah, I know.  Cheesiness is an issue.  If it makes you feel better, the romance is not really continued through the story.  :)

 

Okay, yeah.  I'm working on finding a balance right now.  Previously, I had an issue with sometimes spending too much energy on how a character was feeling and it created issues when it was time to re-enter the action.  So it's good to know that I've at least found the other extreme now.  I'll work... (more »)

 
ShadowRealms said...
May 1, 2012 at 10:47 am
I don't mind the cheese, to be honest. I LOVE love stories and this one stole my heart and kept a firm grip on it right from the start. I loved the hook, but I'm a bit confused. Was this like a prologue in a way? Or was it foreshadowing a part of the book later to come? Other than that I loved it, but some of your words could you spice up? Great job and I'm excited to read the next part! Keep uploading:)
 
AddictedToWriting replied...
May 1, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Haha I'm glad you like it.  Yeah, I was toying with the idea of labeling the first chapter as a "prologue", but as I plan on doing more flashback chapters like that one, I was afraid it would mess withthe flow.  If you looked (and this is more obvious in the original format) you can see that the second chapter takes place two years after the first.   Does that knowledge make it less confusing?  Or do I need to do more with it?

 

Spicing up the words? &nb... (more »)

 
ShadowRealms replied...
May 1, 2012 at 6:40 pm
If you were going for the whole no fancy words thing, then you did a great job! And yes, now I am less confused. :) upload more please I am excited to see how this book turns out!
 
Katsa08 said...
May 1, 2012 at 10:03 am

Alright, I read your author's note for this first chapter - how it borders on cheesy. I'm a girl, and you should know that romance isn't my cup o' tea, (I have it in my books, but twilight can go downstairs if you know what I mean) so I have to agree partly on the cheesiness. It's kind of hard to tell at first glance, but there are just a few issues I have with it.

1. It seems pretty generic. I've read romance novels before, and they all contain pretty much the same thing, and this sce... (more »)

 
AddictedToWriting replied...
May 1, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Yay!  The author's notes DO get read!!  And yes, this is an absolute first draft.  :D

Okay.  Thank you for telling me that, as I was definitely concerned about cheese.  If it helps any, the romance is not a central theme in the book.  Really, it was just supposed to be an added issue.

 

Okay, to the second note:  I guess the best I can say here is that people do weird things when they're injured.  It's not the same, I know, but... (more »)

 

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